Once you were a rivulet, cascading
glittered independence, free,
before desire, hormoned, bedsheets
gravity turned you stagnant
skin on skin, entrapped in bogs
of merging tributaries, you are mired
trapped and slandered here,
in the city of loquacious walls you are
fenced in rot, our passion stale,
we gently flow, we’re tethered tight
but trust me dear together
we will reach the froth of sea.
Today I’m one third through NaPoWriMo and prompted by Magaly at toads I took three titles of my own poetry and wrote this short poem. I also link this poem to Poetry Pantry.
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April 10, 2016

This was a rather fun take on different stages of sensuality. K.
Nicely written but has a jaundiced undertone to it!
Lots of hope and consolation in the end… Nice to link to one’s own poems from the past!
If that bubbling streams had high hopes as it rushed down from its source they were surely dashed by the polluted river and only relieved when the boundless sea was reached. perhaps we should do this more and humanize the inanimate to understand the damage we do.
Each link seems to flower into more perspectives of a life stage that has been the bubble of youthful bravado, but now is enshrined in the night and tethered… but two as one… together meandering to the Great Sea. An interesting poem.
A wonderful contrast between the first and second movement, and a chance to love your titles all over again.
This is absolutely beautiful writing Bjorn 😀
Yikes. Don’t drink the water! The optimistic close doesn’t reassure me.
I like the sense of assurance given at the end. It touched me knowing there is a promise of responsibility & commitment to care for the other through the journey no matter what happens. 🙂
I recognize the journey, and the hope of staying committed to the beginning,,enjoyed this very much,,
Loved this take on a ‘bump in the road’. Your words are always lyrical.
What a clever way to write a poem, Bjorn…. And what a nice progression from rivulet to sea.
I like ‘glittered independence’ – how sad that their passion turned into a trap.
At times I thought the subject was a woman. Clever wayof using poetry (your own) title as part of a new poem. It won’t be stagnant, Bjorn 🙂
Isn’t wonderful to look back (mistakes, triumphs, failures, wins…) and she how we have grown, or at least changed? In the beginning, that rivulet would have not survived at sea… and if the speaker had gone on his own, I’m sure the sea would have eaten him. but together, oh what a pair they make! I see them swimming, and diving, and surfing… and discovering all kinds of treasures.
The way relationship eddies and flows, and the prison and the raft of it, all finely drawn here, Bjorn. Like Shay, not so sure i actually want to feel that froth, tethered like a shipwrecked sailor to a mast.
a wonderful tale of growth, experience and wisdom…the flow so beautifully captivated…
It seems a sad poem…love, love the the words you chose to begin with.
What a great idea, merging the idea of a rivulet merging with a stream, which ultimately makes it somehow to the sea, with love. With being with and for someone else. Really like this.
Creative.
A journey through passion in its ebb and flow…Beautiful
I really loved how this built from a rivulet to reaching the froth of the sea….such determination to make it so in relationship and verse!
To evolve into something more, nice writing!
DANG. This couplet is fantastic:
“but trust me dear together
we will reach the froth of sea.”
The absence of comma makes the word “together” the one you are addressing. LOVE.
Weaving those titles in is a cool idea. Great idea for a new poem. I love the journey described here, and the certainty both will reach the sea. I love “tethered tight” especially.
Ha. I had to reread “hormoned” several times. That does cause changes. Still, you end on a happier note. This was fun.
Just lovely–the last stanza is so full of hope and awareness of the beauty of mature love. Great idea for a prompt.
Oh, I ADORE this, Bjorn….the journey this young rivulet takes is stunning and I do hope it ends in sea froth 🙂
She journeyed there for love, and it can be reignited….love can be a rough sail ride sometimes, but worth it. Great writing Bjorn!!
I love the sense of the journey and the togetherness in this. Excellent titles, too, Bjorn!
I really like that close ~
Relationship carry the challenge of “ups and downs” i like your vision of staying together through thick and thin
thanks for dropping in to read mine
much love…
amazing lines…I sense the professional spark here…feels so true to link your own inspiring poems…
The journey starts with high expectations, but sometimes ends in places we never expected to see,
Elizabeth
Those titles work really well to reinforce the central theme of inner passion caged and needing a worthy release.
“Together” is one of the most powerful words in the English language. It is absolutely astonishing what human beings can accomplish together.
Go! Go! You can do it 🙂
A very nice piece.
What a clever way of composing a poem – those loquacious walls drew me in the most…an intense and passionate poem – in all the best ways
I came back to this today. I want to try this technique. It’s delightful