See bare the branches, boldly stark
against the ghostly garden rot;
it’s lure of leaves have left, to knots
and fits, my fists are folded; dark
my heart is hunger, heckled from
the clotted clouds and cold of fall.
But drums of dread, this death of numb-
ness brings a brittle beauty; mauls
yet gives its gold, a gad of mind
a summer’s softness saved and found.
Today prompt at toads is to write 10 line poetry to “The eye of the Beholder” at toads. My 10 line is a small invention that combines alliterative poetry with rhymes, and formal meter. It should be fun to read aloud. Also linking to Poetry Pantry.
Linking up to dVerse OLN November 16, 2023
—
November 8, 2015
Björn Rudbergs writings 
This is a most stylish sonnetina – all the more so for your customization in terms of rhyme scheme. I also like the way the run-on lines have been phrased to maximize the flow. There is beauty to be found in the stark reminders of summer’s end.
Such an intriguing form.. love this! 🙂
I really enjoyed how you mixed the alliterative poetry with the rhyme. Somedays it is hard to find beauty in the rot of fall.
there is beauty in the barest of branches.
yes, it is a delight to read this poem aloud. great craftsmanship and technical skill. 🙂
I learn so much visiting your blog! This is lovely!
Finding the summer inside…the ultimate search – beautifully conveyed..each line warming to an inner sun
Really elegantly presented, Bjorn, yet with a gut punch as well–very original, deft and intelligent writing on a subject(the seasons) so frequently mauled by cliche.. Many congratulations on the book release!
I agree. Aloud, it reads so well. I love the alliteration and the rhythm that comes with it. 🙂
-HA
Really enjoyed the alliteration in your poem. Reading it aloud is pure joy…as the sounds flow over the tongue!
as usual you bring a fresh and new approach in style and words to even the most well-versed images – perhaps the whole has been ‘heckled from
the clotted clouds’
The great acceptance of seasons here in your poem! Wonderfully written, innovatively!
Wow Bjorn, seems we both had trees of some sorts on our mind and perhaps in our heart.
The rhythm of this poem makes it a joy to read, and I like the fine example of enjambment you included.
Nice, nice.
And hey congratulations on your book! So great!
You’ve followed the optional suggestion to a tee, Bjorn.
I’m pretty sure that Autumn just moaned a little, before screaming, “Yes! Yes! That’s me.”
Yep, I just heard her.
I miss having my cat to read poems aloud to. This would have been a joy. The Zen in me so enjoys the beauty of stark branches. As always, you deftly bring newness to old thoughts and yet hold true to the integrity of those long existing thoughts. Finding the summer inside and yet, accepting the present greyness
Fun to read indeed, enjoyed the art also
Have a nice Sunday
Much love…
Beautiful writing Bjorn. To show that coincidences do happen, you might take a look at this week’s photo prompt for Sunday Photo Fiction. I’d just come from that page when I read your poem and, as I scrolled down to your picture, I thought I was hallucinating.
Ha.. yes that was an interesting coincidence.. but I just looked out of my window..
This was fairly easy reading, Bjorn. I liked the sound of your ‘consonance’ in the last line also.
For us here in Southeast Texas, your picture is not a common sight until late December or January. A lot of trees keep their leaves all winter long.
..
Even as winter approaches we cling on the memories of summer in the hope that we will see another one despite the darkening signs of autumn. Very expressive poem Bjorn.
It is fun to read aloud. Clever alliteration and flow of the words!
Love this beautifully crafted piece: wonderful cascades of alliteration with gentle “pops” of rhyme … intricately woven together.
I love this Bjorn. It IS fun to read out loud and I admire your chosen words – so full, descriptive, mysterious, and complete. You also chose the perfect painting to complement your writing.
Like the form and the cadence you created,
Elizabeth
http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/
And beauty you did find even in the bare tree ~ what an interesting form you created, a mix of rhyme, meter, and alliteration.
I adore “wrap around” lines and you use them well here. I see Kerry knows the correct title of these lines but that’s what I’ve always called them to myself. You are correct – it is beautiful to read out loud!
We read as we find. Which is a worry. This came across to be as angry and sharp and yet I am not convinced that was the writer’s intent.
A lovely piece and nice choice of image!
Alliteration mastery!
Love this “brittle beauty” of the stark and dark, your alluring use of alliteration, and the image of a tree bleeding out it’s color!
Yes, lovely fun to read aloud. 🙂
A wonderful write, but you had my tongue twisted at that continued -ness 🙂 You have also captured fully the November scenery of my hometown, so it was an extra pleasure to read your poem.
The alliteration and rhyme that you have woven through this piece is intricate and yet very robust. And yes, great alliteration (and rhyme, for that matter) often begs to be read aloud.
Wonderful! Did you read this today?
Yes I did
Sad I missed it.😭
Beautiful seasonal contrasts presented
much🖤love
“and fits, my fists are folded” This line…..and the clotted clouds and the drum line are my favorites. A fun one to read aloud. Enjoyed hearing it at OLN LIVE!
It was great to hear you read this. I love the rhythm. It kind of reminded me of Poe.
Or maybe Beowulf 🙂
The feeling of Beowulf perhaps, but the rhythm of Poe.
Beautiful, heckled from clotted clouds and cold of fall…wonderful I can feel it.
Beauty is definitely a matter of perspective and often something barren, brittle and stark has its own beauty. It mauls yet gives its gold, like you put it.
A Shakespearian lilt to this, Bjorn and the enjambment is both skillful and engaging…good one…JIM
Thank you, though it was also a bit of inspiration from Beowulf and other alliterative poems…
Very much enjoyed hearing you read this last night Björn – a king of sonnets indeed…
I so enjoyed hearing you read this yesterday, Bjorn! A gorgeous, gorgeous write! 💙💙
It was a pleasure to search for beauty with you in this revived sonnetina, Björn. I love the alliteration throughout, especially in ‘ghostly garden rot’, which emphasises the smell, in the ‘clotted clouds’, as well as the silvering sibilance in ‘summer’s softness saved and found’. I wish I’d heard you read it. Maybe today?
Reading this again, love the form. I wish I could have joined to hear you read.
I really wanted to read the poem you linked up here but it says that your blog is for invited readers only.
Gorgeous and snappy in the best way. Finely crafted, my friend.
Beautiful alliteration. The awareness of death makes the present day all the more precious. I love the connection with nature in your poem.