Our slow-dance delivered us
lazily, but with utmost care
closer, closer
to the precipice of parting,
so when you simply
delivered me a passive punch,
I only felt relief
that you gifted me goodbye,
relieving me of blame
to be the first to leave.
Umberto Boccioni
Today we are writing Quadrilles at dVerse with De and the word to use is punch.
September 19, 2022
Björn Rudbergs writings 
Well, I don’t know if I should have gotten the giggles from this, (such an occasion), but I did. Your whole ending was a punch. I always enjoy the bite at the end of your poems. Nicely done.
Pat
Goodness, this line really packs a wallup, Bjorn:
“I only felt relief
that you gifted me goodbye.”
Goodness. Yep. I have been there.
“passive punch” is a great term, Bjorn. The gestalt of your poem is insightful and potent.
An interesting approach, Björn, and what a quadrille! I love the alliterative ‘closer to the precipice of parting’ and ‘passive punch’.
This starts off so romantically, and then falls apart so dramatically! A whole novel in 44 words.
It is a relief when one is not blamed for wielding the fatal blow to a crumbling relationship. Loved your punchline.
“He had it coming to him,” I love that song from “Chicago”. She should have shot him (I’m from Texas, we can do that, self defense.)
..
This gave me a chuckle. Didn’t see that punchline coming.
Haha! That was dosed just right…
Read your telegram poem… and I wonder with all those lies, for Russians it has to be a choice to believe them
I’ve known men who do just suffer in the slow dance until they get that “gift of goodbye.” It’s not easy breaking it off! Enjoyed!!
Oh, yeah; that goodbye gifting is always welcome.
Nice work BR. Thanks.
Beautifully woven. So much in so few words!
Nice one Björn
Much💛love
Been there done that Bjorn — on both sides of that punch.
oooh. Sara Bareilles’ Manhattan played in my head as I read this poem, Bjorn!
What a miserable night out!
The last two lines make the relief so palpable.
A ‘passive punch’ is a new way to describe it. 🙂
“I only felt relief
that you gifted me goodbye,”
That’s such a powerful line, that stings with unfortunate truth.
I think your wording is wonderful, a passive punch being a gifted goodbye. Sometimes we don’t know when to leave.
Passive punch was the perfect term.