Wild in wild your rolling waves,
O surge of silence, you — my sea.
Today you are as smelted lead
no froth no crests
kindly coiling
beneath this pewter sky,
Today, you rest
but there below I sense
your snake-like strength
how you may rise
to break my bones
in the briny cauldron of a winter storm.
Wild in wild your scent of salt,
your hands are kelp
your seaweed, hair.
You, my mistress-sea,
O, may we dance with you
my boat and me?
Mountains on the shore
by Arkhip Kuindzhi
This is for my own prompt on alliteration, assonance, and consonance at Dve<a href="http://“>rse. I wanted you to hear the sound of the sea, and I hope it works for you too.
—
January 30, 2020
Björn Rudbergs writings 
You work up a good rhythm in this one (it’s ‘my boat and I’ btw).
:-)… but it’s sounds so much better with my boat and me
It sounds childlike, tender. Maybe because it’s a mistake children often make. I know what you mean though, and that is maybe the feeling you want to convey 🙂
the rise and fall of words much like being lulled by the sea, the crests and rest especially lovely to the ear when read aloud.
I like your description of the sea: “your hands are kelp
your seaweed, hair.”
Lovely poem about the sea. Like the rhythm of this piece.
Yes I heard the sea! Boat and me…poetic license!
Poetic license accepts “me”, but you may want to “scent” the salt! Great poem, Bjorn.
You’ve lulled me, even with the coiling that can crush bones. You know our Great Lakes are fair-weathered friends, but fatal foes in storms also.
I liked this a lot.
“your hands are kelp
Your seaweed hair”
Very nice! It does have a great song quality to it!
i felt the gentle twirling of your lilting words, Bjorn. a sensual and seriously sweet dance.
Today, you rest
but there below I sense
your snake-like strength
how you may rise
to break my bones
I like the punch you pack in these lines.
Thank you for bringing me the sound of the sea this morning, Björn! I see you started and ended with echoes of Monday’s quadrille word, repeated, alliterative and full of movement. I love the way you claim it in ‘’my sea’ and ‘my mistress-sea’, and the assonance in ‘smelted lead’, ‘crests’ and ‘rest’, creating a false sense oi security, which is disrupted by the lines:
‘to break my bones
in the briny cauldron of a winter storm’.
I was buffeted by your words in this write. You captured that sensation of being in a tempest. Excellent!
It’s a wonderful rhythmic poem! ‘Surge of silence’ and ‘snake like strength’ adding to the scent of sea 🙂
kaykuala
Very much a stormy weather in the second stanza but apparently still found to be friendly and accommodating.
Hank
I love so many details about this poem/song. The “wild in wild” is glorious, and these lines I keep repeating, “to break my bones
in the briny cauldron of a winter storm.” Glorious!
Beautiful imagery, so picturesque and moving.
Beautiful. 🙂
I hear wild sound of the sea, even threats, in this! “Boat and me” rhymes perfectly with “mistress-sea” 🙂
Love the last few lines.
Great rhythm in this. I felt like I was on the waves. Beautiful use of language as always.
Extraordinary significant post, where you make the fundamental center, truly satisfies me for its vital of significance. After all it is an incredible article with all the fixings. Much obliged ahead of time for posting it.