From first person plural
When we were flowerfed
and mosssshoed moved
on sun-stained streets,
we never thought
of starlit winter’s snow
and how much
its whiteness seemed
like corpses in a morgue,
cause, when we
were young we weren’t
afraid of death
and only pitied age.
To second person singular
When you were flowerfed
and mosssshoed moved
on sun-stained streets,
you never thought
of starlit winter’s snow
and how much
its whiteness seemed
like corpses in a morgue,
cause, when you
were young you weren’t
afraid of death
and only pitied age.
A second poem written for my own prompt on dVerse MTB were we work on shifting the perspective.
I think the poem changes completely. The first seems like two friends talking, the second to me is like a grandparent speaking to a grandchild reaching adulthood.
What do you think?
—
November 7, 2019
Björn Rudbergs writings 
you’re so right it totally changes the tone … interesting!
What an interesting exercise, Björn! First person plural seems gentler, more melancholy, wistful. Second person seems harsh and almost judgmental.
Yes, very different. Interestingly, I felt an identical emotional shift to Little Learner. Fascinating.
Most fascinating exercise…..
I appreciated the challenge but couldn’t wrap my head around doing it. Perhaps because my perspective on life has changed as I aged. When I tried to change the “I” to “You” it didn’t seem honest since I know how I feel but do not know how You feel. Maybe I am not creative enough to write fantasy yet.
I think that for many poets the you know the honest self… for people more used to write fiction this feels easier.
This probably says more about me than your work, but the first seems to hold more validity. My response to the second is more who-do-you-think-you-are