From my hiding place I watch her moving through the kitchen, preparing dinner.
Just like before…
I clench my fists … imagining the scent of stew… the scent of mother’s recipes!
A shadow appearing behind her, he snakes his arms around her waist
Fuming, I stare at them.
Imagining the praise she gets for her cooking… remembering the times I scolded her before she learned to cook like mother.
My father hit mother every time his meal was wrong.
She learned.and hugged me afterwards. Sobbing.
Pathetic…
I open the switchblade, like father taught me and enter the building.
© J Hardy Carroll
The angle of the picture made me imagine someone standing outside. Maybe stalking, most certainly with sinister plans.
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February 13, 2018
Switchblade retribution, chilling.
Some recipes should not be kept.
Chilling is the word that comes to my mind too. Good writing, Bjorn!
I felt quite cold when writing it too.
I liked the way you used the transmission from father to son
Alas it happens way too often…
She managed to get away from him and refind love…and he plans on not letting her… Such an awful, realistic situation. We learn from our father. (or mother)
Alas some families have recipes only for disaster.
Sadly, yes. And even if one manages to escape…
That was very chilling! Nicely done.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
Cold as ice
I hope she kicks your ass and smashes you through the window.
I hope so too
Wow. Well written. Creepy, but very well written.
Just when she finally thought she was in a good place.
Once transmission occurs, difficult to unsend the message. Chilling brilliant piece of writing.
I thought you where writing about a ghost. But you had a more chilling idea,
A grim tale for sure.
Ronda
What a psychopath, if that is the right description. His father beat his mother for bad meal. Now he wants to kill his wife/girl friend who is no longer with him.
Like father, like son.
Powerful write, Bjorn
Just for a moment there, I thought it was a brother infatuated with his sister. That’s just as scary as the real story. Well done.
That’s what I think too.
You convey menace with perfection.
Spine-chilling! I dread to think what happened next!
Went from grim to grimmer. Nice one!
Clearly you’ve done a good job, as so many of us were on pins and needles, until your twist at the end. Dark and chilling!
He chose the wrong parent to empathise with.
Some violence ensues, I assume.
Yoiks, Bjorn. Father was not a very good teacher or perhaps too good a teacher. These left a cold spot in my heart.
Dear Björn,
From one generation to the next. Creepy stuff, well written.
Shalom,
Rochelle
it looks like a disaster waiting to happen. it’s a situation that nobody wins
This seems scary! Like father, like son…hope nothing gruesome happens once he enters.
As others have said – a chilling story — made powerful by the astute description of intimidation, violence and the son’s role in the family. Well done.
There is something about learned behaviour that needs addressing, too late in this case. Tight tension held story.
A chilling and horribly sad tale of violence passed from one generation to another. With the passing of it comes a deeper darker propensity to injure, even kill. Hopefully, she finds a way to survive and be free of him. So well written as always!
This is very chilling. The tension throughout was built up brilliantly.
Oh! It sounds like he learned too much from his father.
And so it continues. A grim story – a feeling of menace in every line.
Psychopathy from one generation to another. Horrible to be inside the mind of either one of them.
Unfortunately it’s the kind of tale that often transpires in real life
I can’t really add anything new, I feel chilled to the bone by your story. Want it or not, we always pick up more than we think from our parents. But this guy obviously wanted to learn–the wrong stuff.
I loved this.
Wow, that’s a family with everything gone wrong across the generations.
Interesting childhood. He should seek out some counselling.
Wow that chilling Bjorn. Psycho hiding in the kitchen.
Oh no. Scary
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