Sleeping with death

When darkness tiptoed through our streets, we shut
the windows, blocked the doors before they knocked.
“This night is death”, you cried, “it stabs my gut”.
We listened to the tick-tock of the clocks,
and watched the shadows moulding into black,
your face, a pale reflection washed in ink.
I poured myself a scotch when on my back,
I felt its ice cold touch, a serpent slinked
foretelling that the visitors had come,
with raven wind and from the basement sighs,
and there was music, woodwind, strings and drums,
and rattling bones, retracted claws — You cried:
“I crave your blood, I’m one of them ”, you sneered,
and snapped my neck; I’ve slept with death I fear.

Vampire by Edward Munch

Today I host MTB at dVerse, where we try our best in writing narrative poetry. Tell us a story with beginning end and conclusion. Put me in the place, and introduce the characters. Use dialogue in your poem if you want, give me images and have fun. I wrote the first version of this sonnet last week, and I have basically only made a few changes to the end to give you a different story.
—-
September 27, 2018

28 responses to “Sleeping with death

  1. Oh my goodness, the rhythm and rhyme scheme gave this a fun, lyrical feel but the subject matter and lines themselves contrasted so greatly, it made for such an exciting read!

  2. Ohh wow…more of your masterful imagery….
    I loved “8foretelling that the visitors had come,
with raven wind and from the basement sighs,
and there was music, woodwind, strings and drums,
and rattling bones, retracted claws — “

  3. Dark but with a jaunty rhythm, and I love the sounds in ‘darkness’, ‘blocked’, ‘knocked’, ‘tick-tock of the clocks’,’black’, ‘ink’ and ‘back’, I also love the ‘raven wind and … basement sighs’ – very creepy!

  4. I thought this felt familiar when I started, but I wasn’t sure if it was a coincidence at first until a little bit into it. A chilling tale straight through the end, and the last line was superb. I think there’s great value in both versions though.
    I am pleased about the dark ending to this one.

  5. Gothic to the core, brother–loved it. You had me at /raven winds/; still imagining the soft sound of /retracting claws/. Nice illustration for your prompt.

  6. Pingback: Rubble-Pile | Hephaestus’ Waste & Cosmic Rubble·

  7. I like the double-meaning of the title and I was genuinely shocked by the turn. I see what you were driving at now. That was a tight narrative.

  8. I love the rhythm and rhyme that carries along this tale (without be intrusive). I agree with others–quite gothic. You are right that the sonnet form seems perfect for this. This is really chocked full with sound and action.

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