I don’t need anything really.
Certainly not cutlery.
But I watch them eating and their forks are tantalizing.
The man drinks ale — good — that will make him sluggish.
The woman reaches for her iPhone — good — she’s distracted now.
I look to the left — no waitress.
To the right — no other clients.
This is easy, it’s time to act.
I d
i
v
e and grab the fork
The woman screams, the man is soaked in ale as I add another shiny object to my stash.
It’s time to find a wife and go from stealth to murder.
For some reason I could only imagine a magpie in that tree, and we all know what magpies do best, I thought a little humor wouldn’t hurt after writing all serious stories.
Rochelle selects the prompt, and the bar. I just write and read. Join us drabbling 100 word stories every week.
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October 18, 2017
Björn Rudbergs writings 
I’m no fan of talking animals generally, but this is lovely
Ha.. but magpies are special.
Pesky magpies, I have a couple who wake me most mornings. At least they haven’t stolen my cutlery… yet…
Are you sure that they haven’t stolen any?
Well…
Must admit I got everything but the last. Magpies steal shiny stuff, but only a collection of crows is called a “murder”.
Magpies are close enough I think
Ok. Just wanted to make sure I wasn’t missing anything.
Neat!
🙂
Wonderful story!
Wonderful read
That was clever.
🙂
Fun! I was thinking crow or raven. They, too, are pesky thieves of shiny objects. Love this, Bjorn.
Indeed.. but I really like Rossini
I thought of crows, but of course magpies are the ones. Great story 🙂
Magpies are the thieving kind… 🙂
Mischievous magpie!
They are very smart and mischieveous
Nice, darn magpies!
Thanks
A very clever tale, Bjorn. Loved it!
Love that you loved it
Oh, on my first read I was thinking it was the tree that was doing the talking, which I thought was great, but a talking / thinking magpie is equally fun!
He he…
This is brilliant – well played!
As played by the thieving magpie
Shiney! I love the way dive, dives. First saw this playing with word shapes as well as sounds in Ali Smith’s Hotel World. Which isn’t about magpies, I hasten to add. Love your style, Bjorn.
In poetry you talk about concrete poems, where the shape is part of the presentation… it was fun to play with
Neatly rounded off, Bjorn.
Thank you
A magpie landed outside my window as I read this! Now I’m spooked!
Click to read my FriFic!
I think your teaspoons should be scared.
Dear Björn,
Magpies love shiny objects, don’t they? Love the way you shaped the sentence when he dove. Clever story.
Shalom,
Rochelle
They do… enough to motivate an overture…
Pack rats are bad about collecting shiny objects too. That would have really made the patrons scream. Fun stuff, Bjorn.
How about a thieving armadillo?
Sharp as the carving knife.
Ha… love to carve a smile
I love the last line where the ‘murder’ is the family he’s planning to raise. Great joke, Bjorn!
He he… a murder is what every crow and magpie craves.
You have to love any member of the corvid family – much maligned over the centuries. I like how your magpie’s mind turns to women – hopefully he’ll find one who’s impressed by all the shiny stuff he’s stolen! Nicely done Bjorn
Of course a home with shiny things is a way to impress women…
Haha! Absolutely 🙂
A murder of crows!!! Oh, I am so glad you explained this ah…story. LOL! Very funny, Bjorn.
Indeed… murder and thievery is what a magpie lives for.
I don’t know much about magpies, but I do know they steal shiny things and hide them in trees. a “murder’ of crows refers to a group of them. I love that! As for being murderers….I don’t know.
Well if crows make more crows they have to commit murder…
strange to call love making murder. But perhaps it can be. LOL!
Good story. Great change of pace. Now, I have to go back to listen to the music that stopped when I commented!
Scott
Mine: https://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2017/10/19/from-tree-to-shining-tree-friday-fictioneers/
Ooh, shiny! I really related to the magpie in this one. Although I admit to being a bit confused by the photo; in my world, the tree itself might have reached down to grab the fork. 😉
i find it different from your usual. it’s quite refreshing. good job. 🙂
I didn’t catch that murder reference at first until I read the comments. I look it up as I thought birds were flocks and found Crows are a murder; Ravens are a conspiracy; Magpies are a parliament. It’s so strange that they are all different. It made me think. A Parliament of Magpies were inquiring into the Crows’ Murder within the Ravens’ Conspiracy. So strange. I’ll have to remember this one. Love the story, Bjorn, plus I learned something new. Thank you. And the music was a very cool touch.
I think this magpie believes itself to be a crow.
He’s probably been hanging out with the crows. Carol’s cat thinks he’s a dog because JB, a dog, is his bestfriend.
Ah! The explanation at the end makes it much more clearer. Magpie attacks are very common here with the peak swooping season in September. Fun story.
Arghhhhhh bloody magpies! 😉 and swooping season is the worst!