The silence was like ice
before you dawned on me;
that night you smiled:
“We can remain together
if you want”.
And though more than thirty
years together since
have passed
I fear the dusk that falls
if you
ever change your mind (again).
Flames of love by Erte
Tomorrow I host the Quadrille at dVerse. A quadrille is a 44 word poem including a given word which is dawn. Join us at 9 PM EST with your offering.
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January 29, 2017
The Quantumverse
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A poignant poem …I like the rich way you use ‘dawn’ and ‘dusk’ and the sense of vulnerability. I discovered your preview by luck …was trying to pass by the Reader to get to my site but was drawn in…glad I was–now thoughts of dawn can start percolating for a possible Quadrille :))
Ohh wow perfect construction of the words. Beautiful.. Poetry was always a blessing.
Feel free to visit philapoetry.WordPress.com
Oh, a powerful tale. Trust is the most powerful, fragile thing to have (or give)
Nicely done!
Those first two lines are so stunning 🙂
Before you dawned on me… lovely!!
https://thotpurge.wordpress.com/2017/01/30/the-seduction-of-dawn/
Love the use of “dawned” here. Ah yes….unconditional love, as you wish. The freedom to come and go at any time…and the hope they never leave. Enjoyed this!
PS: Having trouble with internet connection in Bermuda — small price to pay for aquamarine seas 🙂
Very poignant and beautiful, I love ‘before you dawned on me’
Hopefully that feeling stays the same, ever dawning, everyday ~
The fear of happiness ending is one of the worst most of us will ever know.
Excellent Quadrille, brother. You are such a romantic. I love it. I tend to dwell on the dark side, where anger & sarcasm guide my quill.
Really takes a while for my comments to appear, but I will not panic this time; hugs.
I love it but the word again is just a killer closer.
That’s lovely. Very delicately done.
Beautiful poem Bjorn … may the days continue to dawn with unchanged minds
The fragility of relationships… Lovely poem.
Love and trust but not taken for granted. A lovely sweet poem
There is something ominous in the ending with the fear that someone might leave “again”.
so enjoyed the contrast from beginning to end… such commitment
Very nice and poignant.
‘The silence was like ice
before you dawned on me;’ … a stunning double entendre. Very cool!
That dread the price we so willingly pay. Beautifully written.
So sweet and beautiful…!
Awww. So heartfelt. Love the use of dawn and the dusk. That last line make me smile and sigh. ❤
The title is deceptive and the way you have used the words ‘dawn’ and ‘dusk’ so skillful, the poem just breaks on me like a dawn. A delicate and honest love poem, Bjorn.
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Loved the way you use dusk and dawn! ❤ Sweet!
Oh this is soo wonderfully sweet and romantic! 😀 I literally held my breath through “I fear the dusk that falls if you ever change your mind (again).” Wishing you a most joyous birthday Bjorn 🙂
Lots of love,
Sanaa
Hope that disk never befalls you!
I read this as being about a parent talking to a suicidal adult child.
That “(again)” at the end says it all — the doubt, the fear is a sad way to live in a relationship.
Expertly done, Bjorn! Bravo! Hugs!
Short and sweet poem of a very nice and long relationship.
Whew. Not the best moment, that’s for sure. I’m sure it’s grown from there. Well done.
Breathless. Smiling. Well woven tapestry of love.
I like the way you used dawn and dusk here. Poignant, and a fear, we can all relate to.
Every (wo)man’s fear, Bjorn! Persistence matters!
Lol! That is one long wait, Bjorn!
Love your use of, dawn. It is a good thing not to be complacent.