Loneliness

deep
emotions
puzzled him
raged as thunder
embered skin too hot
sadness weighted, wilted
sinking underneath he’s brined
intestines snaking, burning spit
obstructed breath for a noose prepared
no   symphonies  composed   for   loneliness

Old man with noose by Kathe Kollwitz

Old man with noose by Kathe Kollwitz

A second offering for Victoria’s MTB prompt at dVerse, the Etheree. This time I did it acrostic as well.

May 19, 2016

22 responses to “Loneliness

  1. I see you are having fun with the form, but your message is of sadness on the brink of loss. Well done as always, you have a knack for the dark side of life.

  2. This was a great poem– oppressively sad, but, hey, I tend to like literature that explores the darker aspects of the psyche. You did a good job translating emotional pain into uncomfortably visceral descriptions of physically manifested agony. You’ve avoided cliche and, in utilizing such unexpected language, returned the emotional immediacy to a subject that’s been mined almost dry by many writers– all without veering into sentimental melodrama.

  3. Seriously dark and despairing, great choice of visceral language and brilliantly executed as an acrostic

  4. I feel the weight of the world in this one, Bjorn! The acrostic helps this dark piece along. But your words always shine a light for all to see. Nicely done!

  5. Dark poetry, Bjorn! Careful or you’re going to give us Scandinavians a reputation for brooding, introspection… and dangerous sea-going adventure! 🙂

  6. Oh so well writ Bjorn, very vivid indeed. Dark depressing and perfectly executed.
    Anna :o]

  7. A masterfully rendered, intense piece – the content: as engrossing as the dual form. This work, I think, required a lot of discipline, to keep so many plates successfully spinning at the same time. Bravo!

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