Rain away

My moon’s
   a garden black
   repulsive lie
      a forest scream;

rain away,
   sweet girl
      my dream – run
   and shadow less;

barefoot shot
   like lightning,

we worshipped blue
   skin and lathered meat
   with frantic licks
      for kicks

we played as greened –
   this sordid smell.

The temptation and fall of  Eve by William Blake

The temptation and fall of Eve by William Blake

Grace runs leads us in the quadrille today 44 words and use the word green at dVerse, and I used some magnetic poetry to kick-start my writing. I will probably do more than one later tonight. Join us with your words at 3 PM CET.
May 16, 2016

28 responses to “Rain away

  1. Oh my….I clicked on “magnetic poetry” in your explanation and you mean you really did form it with the magnetic tiles! Wow – this is a dark green 🙂 “…like lightning drooled…”

  2. And now we have the dark side of green. A truly dark metaphor for sin, rot, excess…one always thinks of being drenched in blood but this gives quite a good case for being drenched in green. I can see you are enjoying the magnetic poetry!

  3. Very nice use of “greened” in this. And I’m going to have to go check out the magnetic poetry. I tried to do it last night from my phone, but it wouldn’t work properly.

  4. I love that line, a “forest scream.” There’s something so wonderful with this line, I think because I can hear it… nature shouting, yelling. Awesome.

  5. I came back to read the first stanza a couple more times….amazing. I will definitely have to check out the magnetic poetry as well. 🙂

  6. I’m having fun with the virtual version of magnetic poetry, too. Although, I still love my orig-on-the-frig version. I was really captured by the line ‘run and shadow-less.’ It has a surrealist tone. Marvelous!

  7. I think, brother, your magnetic tile for “K” got lost, so we read repulsive “lie”, which it could be, but mind throws in a verdant K. Lusty & dark, your Q shines, as only dark shadows & mold can.

  8. I read this as if the speaker is the snake.

    “shadow less” … I love that phrase. I wonder if he’s telling her to stop shadowing Adam, and God, and to “be herself” … by following (eating) him.

    Everything about this is completely awesome. I have read this so many times and keep discovering new intricacies and hidden meanings.

    “lightning drooled” is also a killer image … also “lathered meat”

  9. I tried the magnetic poetry again. It’s so fun when you can actually find your own voice in the random words

    clicked this one yesterday because I already liked it before i understood it was magnetic

  10. Magnetic poetry is such fun to play with, and produces a new slant on things. 🙂

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