Dust and trash. I can neither live on memories nor leave my past. I hear your laughter in every book you read, I smell betrayal in the withered daffodils you left.
“I don’t love you any more”. Shards of breaking glass.
“You cannot leave me”, I caressed my heavy rolling-pin,
”You cannot leave me carrying our child”
She caressed the moonfull of her belly, smiling.
“It’s my child, not yours”
Then the flash of anger, the sound of breaking bone. Blood.
I cleaned the mess and waited for a police that never came.
I cannot leave your dust and trash.
Time for another picture and this time I saw a story with a strong flashback dialogue coming. Hope it works.
Friday Fictioneers is run by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, a very skilled author. Each week we gather and write stories to the same pictures. Many of them true masterpieces.
—
April 27, 2016
Björn Rudbergs writings 
In some sense, we all get trapped by others’ dust and trash
Yes, and even worse if it through our own doing.
Dear Björn,
That was gruesome and well written, I might add. I liked the ‘moonful of her belly.’
Shalom,
Rochelle
I love to invent new words… and I’m glad you were pleased with moonful
The sarcasm wrapped in a sincere-like dark tone on the last words. Just beautiful! Thank you.
I think darkness feels darker this way…so I’m pleased it worked
“She carressed the moonful of her belly…” Such a beautiful line to include in this piece that is definitely on the darker side. Excellent last line — evil lurks here.
I like to have those contrasts.. the good thing is that he has built his own prison.
Powerful story. Lovely description : I smell betrayal in the withered daffodils you left.
There was… the flowers was for her lover I think.
Oh my. Dark indeed. Well done!
Thank you… darkness is my name
Very dark and very effective. I too liked the moonful of belly. I’m really enjoying your pieces each week, Bjorn.
Thank you Sandra, I do so much enjoy your stories too.. Friday Fictioneers is a great place to learn and practice.
Pointing out- “Shards of breakingl glass”, other than that your story was excellent, overcome by darkness/evil/rage and imprisoned by guilt in the form of dust and trash- waiting for police that never came. Beautifully done.
Ah.. that will be corrected.. thank you
Indeed he has built himself a prison much worse than anyone they could have put him in.
I think the word “haunting” works well to describe this piece. I enjoyed the full circle you crafted here. Nicely written, Bjorn.
I think haunting works too… definitely a dark and sad story.
Chilling!!
Yes it is.. 🙂
The dark tone of this poem is brilliant and sarcastically outstanding.
I love this line: moonful of her belly
Very deep and intense visual. Love it Bjorn. 🙂
Thank you.. and when I write prose it comes out as poetry… 🙂
I also, see the prose mixed in with poetry. It’s all good. 🙂
P.S Got a new poem posted. Check it out. This will knock you out of this world. 🙂
This story hits a person where it hurts.
I think my storytelling can be on the painful side sometimes.
Moonful is a great word! Great story.
Thank you… I like it too actually, it’s fun to make up words
Beautifully written… Please checkout my blog.
Thanks
wow, deliciously dark, 🙂
Like laced chocolate…
Very tense piece of writing, she dared him at the wrong moment and he was already blinded by anger.
Great writing.
True darkness often comes after an instant…
Very true.
🙂
Very dark but oddly peaceful at the end. I enjoyed this!
Peaceful as a prison I think
Yes, the flashback dialogue works very well. Good story and situations. Definitely a mystery.
Thank you.. to some extent I use FF for writing training so I’m glad it works
Oh listen! Both Rochelle and I practically swear by this type of “training” writing flash fiction. Her novels are much better than before and my writing has improved, too. So, yeah. FF is great!
The way you used such beautiful imagery (the moonful…) only served to make the story itself more explosive, tragic.
It’s like darkness seem the more darker close to light.
You gave us emotional turmoil and poetry, and a love child. Just great.
A love child lost alas..
Your invented words work their usual magic, despite the dust and grime.
Isn’t it fantastic what you can do inventing words.
Yes, it’s lovlasting longingblind.
I love the title! And the story is so powerfully written.
Titles are so important part of the piece I think (and sometimes it gives you additional words)
Yes! 🙂
Ah! Love and betrayal must be the theme for the week. Very poetic prose in this one.
I wonder why… there is an eeriness in the picture I think.
Having killed wife and child, the guilt will kill him in the end.
It’s already doing that…actually i think by now he has passed.
Dark, dark, dark. Love the way you’ve given us snapshots of action before the violent reveal. And moonfull of her pregnant belly – perfect. A sad but gorgeously written take on the prompt
Thank you.. the theme is so common here at FF… to me But I try to wary my writing style.
And you do it well, too! Nice work 🙂
Very dark and well written.
I thrive in darkness.
So very dark and well written… I’ll join in with the moonfull belly likes!
I must do something light and funny soon.. but I’m afraid it will turn out like a Harlequin novel
Ha ha! Go crazy, take the risk!
Deep down here in the mire… Bring me light.
I think light would just reveal the bones.
“I can neither live on memories nor leave my past.” Terrific line and great writing as always.
Thank you… To be trapped there sounds like terrible
The flashback was perfectly done. The ending made me go “ewwww” because it sounds like he’s staying in the house with her corpse. Very deviously dark!
I think that’s where he is.. like a prison.
That was brutal. Here in America, it’s usually the woman who caresses the rolling pin before the sound of breaking bones.
One more thing, sometimes I smile when I caress my beerfull belly. 🙂
Ha.. yes that’s quite different role… and maybe the beerful belly can cause a collision with a rolling pin
Darkly compelling, Björn. I love the way you told this… almost a poem. I, too, loved “moonful of belly;” it’s beautiful!
Sometimes I think I have to write prose as poetry… There are occasions when I think in iambs when commenting.
It’s part of what makes you so interesting, Björn; don’t change a thing! 🙂
What everyone else said. Sad and haunting, three lives lost for nothing. I also found it hearbreaking that police never came. No one misses her?
It’s almost a disappointment for the perpetrator too… but maybe his punishment is even worse.
I really like the moonfull of belly. So original. But it’s surrounded by such gruesomeness. I could hear the sound of breaking bone. Well done, Bjorn.
It’s fun to invent words.. 🙂 and I think a bad story becomes worse when written with soft syllables.
poetically dark. waiting for the police could mean an admission that he accepted full responsibility for his action.
Waiting in vain, and then he have to build his own scaffolds.
Shockingly great story.
Thank you… sometimes I’m shocked that I write stories like this
I like the repetition of ‘dust and trash’. The flashback dialogue workis well to take us back to the crisis moment.
Repetition can be very effective if the meaning has shifted a little I think
The title by itself sounds like a poem and it sets the mood for the story. The images and the emotions are well portrayed. Well done!
I think the flowers are like a wreath here.
Wow, very powerful story!
Thank you 🙂
that was horrifying, in a way it is cold blooded
http://www.obliqview.blogspot.in
“moonful of her belly”..great line!
Very dark and powerful this time, Bjorn. Effective description and metaphor. Well written. —- Suzanne