Dust and daffodils

Dust and trash. I can neither live on memories nor leave my past. I hear your laughter in every book you read, I smell betrayal in the withered daffodils you left.

“I don’t love you any more”. Shards of breaking glass.
“You cannot leave me”, I caressed my heavy rolling-pin,
”You cannot leave me carrying our child”
She caressed the moonfull of her belly, smiling.
“It’s my child, not yours”

Then the flash of anger, the sound of breaking bone. Blood.

I cleaned the mess and waited for a police that never came.
I cannot leave your dust and trash.


Time for another picture and this time I saw a story with a strong flashback dialogue coming. Hope it works.

Friday Fictioneers is run by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, a very skilled author. Each week we gather and write stories to the same pictures. Many of them true masterpieces.

April 27, 2016

90 responses to “Dust and daffodils

  1. The sarcasm wrapped in a sincere-like dark tone on the last words. Just beautiful! Thank you.

  2. “She carressed the moonful of her belly…” Such a beautiful line to include in this piece that is definitely on the darker side. Excellent last line — evil lurks here.

  3. Powerful story. Lovely description : I smell betrayal in the withered daffodils you left.

  4. Pointing out- “Shards of breakingl glass”, other than that your story was excellent, overcome by darkness/evil/rage and imprisoned by guilt in the form of dust and trash- waiting for police that never came. Beautifully done.

  5. I think the word “haunting” works well to describe this piece. I enjoyed the full circle you crafted here. Nicely written, Bjorn.

  6. Dark, dark, dark. Love the way you’ve given us snapshots of action before the violent reveal. And moonfull of her pregnant belly – perfect. A sad but gorgeously written take on the prompt

  7. The flashback was perfectly done. The ending made me go “ewwww” because it sounds like he’s staying in the house with her corpse. Very deviously dark!

  8. That was brutal. Here in America, it’s usually the woman who caresses the rolling pin before the sound of breaking bones.

    One more thing, sometimes I smile when I caress my beerfull belly. 🙂

  9. What everyone else said. Sad and haunting, three lives lost for nothing. I also found it hearbreaking that police never came. No one misses her?

  10. I really like the moonfull of belly. So original. But it’s surrounded by such gruesomeness. I could hear the sound of breaking bone. Well done, Bjorn.

  11. I like the repetition of ‘dust and trash’. The flashback dialogue workis well to take us back to the crisis moment.

  12. The title by itself sounds like a poem and it sets the mood for the story. The images and the emotions are well portrayed. Well done!

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