The precious jar

The young man hesitated before he left; the house foreclosed was empty, furniture collected, walls repainted, but on the kitchen counter was their jar of batteries; collected; ready for recycling.
Each battery,, told its own unique story:

The flashlight they had used on their first camping trip.
The patio music they had listened to when they first made love.
The camera for wedding pictures.
The baby monitor that didn’t work when it should have.
The bicycle lamp not strong enough to be seen by an oncoming truck.

He brought his jar of memories, forever leaving the home they never built.

This was one of the first pictures I ever wrote to, and I really wanted to retell the story in new words. As a matter of fact it’s inspired by one of the very best short stories ever written. Half a Sheet of Foolscap by August Strindberg . It is a very short story, and it could probably pass for flashfiction today.

Friday Fictioneers is managed by Rochelle Wissoff-Fields, and each week we write to the same picture. Go to her site and find your own story or indulge yourself in other stories. You can also click on the link below to reach the other stories.



March 2, 2016

60 responses to “The precious jar

  1. Dear Björn,

    We have a jar of wine corks like this. I find the jar of batteries intriguing. Did then, do now, which is why I chose it as one of the first prompts I posted as the Fairy Blog Mother. Sweet story. There’s something nice about revisiting, isn’t there? I did some minor tweaking to mine.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  2. This made me cry.

    “The baby monitor that didn’t work when it should have.
    The bicycle lamp not strong enough to be seen by an oncoming truck.
    He brought his jar of memories, forever leaving the home they never built.”

    Again, this reminds me of The Affair … how they had this beautiful marriage, until a mack truck slammed into the side of their house when their baby drowned.

      • I would imagine. But who knows what beautiful things will come for him in a new house? Surely there is magic left. It all has to do with attitude, I think. What you believe can happen. What you decide will happen. If you give up, there is death. If you get up, there is life and death.

  3. It seems such a good idea for a memory bank and don’t we need those to remind us who we are or where we came from. Our stories that we need to tell.

  4. Oh, so sad, Bjorn. I was expecting sweet memories, and then came the bicycle lamp! You took me on a wonderful journey . It reminded me of a well constructed piece of music. Well done.

  5. That’s brilliant Bjorn, using each battery to tell a whole tale of it’s own within the overall one.

  6. WHOA! Packed a wallop, Bjorn! Your usual quality hasn’t diminished, just has gotten better. One of the best I have read so far. How have you been?

  7. This line “The bicycle lamp not strong enough to be seen by an oncoming truck.” was powerful. I was enjoying all of the memories and then this line was a power punch. I liked the way you put it there to coordinate with the intense finale. A fabulous story.
    Isadora 😎

  8. I love the telling of this Bjorn. How the batteries not only each hold their own story, but in revealing them, you are describing the downward spiraling of their lives. Well done. I’d like to read this story. Hard not to when it’s the “best ever.” I can’t pass that up!

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