As branches bends for desert winds, close
to breaking, and the weight of what I’ve said
is slightly less than my mute retort inside.
They send me feathers white of cowardice, but
yet I hesitate, behind my cock-sure mask,
because lukewarm water cannot scorch my skin.
I seek the colors in what’s grey, as prisms
can rainbow-bend, “You have to choose!!”
they said “you’re either with us or against us”,
as yet again the branches bend for ricochets,
with cobblestones now wet, our grey-zones stained,
but yet, I hesitate and cannot cry revenge.
I link a second poem to Claudia’s prompt on emotions at dVerse, and this requires a little explanation. I’m proud to be ambiguous, which is actually a strong emotion. The terrorist attacks and the responses make me sick inside, and even if I was adorned with white feathers of cowardice (which was a symbol given by women to men without uniform in the first world war) I hope I could keep my ambiguous mind intact.
—
November 24, 2015
Björn Rudbergs writings 
Very striking poem, even though it both challenges me and pains me to recognise right away the motives that are woven through it.
Love.
Especially these:
“I hesitate, behind my cock-sure mask”
“I seek the colors in what’s grey”
“as yet again the branches bend for ricochets,
with cobblestones now wet”
“our grey-zones stained”
Interesting to think about ambiguous as being an emotion. I always think of ambiguous as something that one cannot figure out, that doesn’t present a clear face. I must admit that ambiguity leave me a bit uncomfortable. And I am not sure of seeking shades of grey unless retreating into the grey is a bit of a protection. Anyway – a challenging concept, a challenging poem.
There is safety in ambiguity … for the ambiguous person, anyway. I suppose the opposite is true for the one trying to figure out or get close to the ambiguous person.
Gypsy Snow, I agree with you about the safety. And the ambiguous person remains a mystery, which may heighten the interest or frustrate…. smiles.
Actually the ambiguous is far from safe, the grey-zones are now targeted, both from Daesh and extremists to the right.
Complex responses needed. The white feather. I haven’t looked myself yet but there is an online resource from Quakers UK called The White Feather Diaries. Peace and non violence as ideas may call for more grey than black and white?
I can absolutely relate to the feeling of being ambiguous here.. sometimes we are so overwhelmed by the horror around us that we feel it challenging to voice our emotions. Beautifully penned.
Ah, now I understand what you were trying to say earlier about your emotions. Thank you for sharing this. I love ‘grey-zones stained’
I specially love that last stanza with grey-zones stained ~ I admire ambiguity as well ~
Another word for ambiguous might be centered. Stay clear in all situations. Communicated so very well!
Grey zones stained…. Great line.
I did not know about the white feathers giving in the War, so thank you and for your wonderful words.
the grey zones are not a comfortable zone to be – and i know from own experience – it needs often quite some time until i made up my mind and weighed all the arguments before i decide things but i def. think it’s not a bad thing you know
Beautiful and eloquent.
Emotional ambiguity is my area of expertise! Loved ‘grey zones stained’ – awesome line. Very eloquent in general. Keeping our heads can be a bit of a fuss. I’m glad you’ve kept yours (so far).
Stay ambiguous. Always.
Wow!!!… You knw wen you read and can relate??? WOW.
Excellent write: the soul-crushing predicament of being caught in the quagmire of a force or action that one does not believe in and has no personal commitment to. The history of wars are laden with example upon example of the means invoked to persuade those who do not feel duty-bound to “get on board”.