Hollowness of restless nights

· by · in poetry, triolet. ·


My heart beats less than darkly sung
with hollowness of restless nights
and whisper with a senseless tongue:
My heart beats less than darkly sung
as trapped in hail with trees unstrung
for wind of fall decays the light.
My heartbeat; less than darkly sung
with hollowness of restless nights.

Red Heart by Friedel Dzubas

Red Heart by Friedel Dzubas


Today Kerry want’s us to get close and personal in less than 10 lines at toads. This is to reflect a little bit on my nightly angst, that seem to grow with darkness of the autumn. I worked a little abstract in the simplicity of the triolet… I will also link up in the morning with Poetry Pantry.
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October 10, 2015

38 responses to “Hollowness of restless nights”

  4. I can hear the whisper of the autumn wind, hollowed cold as restless night ~ I dread these cold nights too~

    A lovely triolet Bjorn ~

  5. I do understand the idea of night angst. Especially in autumn, when night seems to descend like a dark curtain SO much earlier. They do indeed make a person restless.

  8. I hate it times when my heartbeat
    becomes restless. It wakes me up
    and generally I don’t have sense
    enough to feel my pulse. Bummer
    Hate when my heartbeat wakes me up
    ..
    Nice write, Bjorn. Sorry you have those nights too.
    ..

  9. I am very fond of a triolet, because I like a pattern of repeating lines in poetry. Your pair of repeated lines contain beautiful strong words, and the rhymes convey a strong sense of musicality throughout. This is a wonderful response to the challenge.

  17. I love the repetition – of insomnia – where the clock seems to stay on the same second repeated over and over…skilfully written and conveyed

  18. Ah a triolet..this line stays with the reader long after reading the poem.
    “My heart beats less than darkly sung”
    There is a restlessness in the fall…perhaps, due to changes.

  19. One of my favorite short forms, so easily mangled, but here as musical and as compelling as a good one can be–your refrain is both melancholy and somehow, …I don;t know, realistic? It just feels like an echo of something basic this season evokes.

  23. I am becoming increasingly intrigued with this form, which is popping up everywhere since Mary featured it at dVerse. The repeated lines make your poem even more darkly haunting. Wonderful writing, Bjorn.

  24. I know that hollowness all too well, and you drive the message home with skill and grace.

  28. I am an insomniac and do not mind the night, although sometimes, I too have this night time angst. True description of that angst and wonderful use of the triolet.

  29. Gosh. What a burden to have such heart beating without solace and company … or at least without being able to give attention to the external world. Powerful.

  36. Yes, the troilet, with its 8 lines & two refrains kicks the prompt & rocks it. There in Sweden, it must be getting dark before you are home from work. I love the line, as did others /as trapped in hail with trees unstrung/.

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