What happened here, the woods look brown
When trees are dying, who destroys the view?
Echo: You
What’s that virus, what destroys its soil?
Echo: Oil
How can I stop it, hinder this disease?
Echo: cease
How will I live if I consume and take a loan?
Echo: alone
And what remains, when all that matters is our cash?
Echo: Ash
And if we cease, what do we get what’s the delight?
Echo: light
With light and water they will live, all what’s dear
Echo: deer?
Yes and there above in trees there’s cawing crows
Echo: rows?
Not anymore we’ll save the earth and live on wine.
Echo: whine?
No I’m happy now, and we will save the earth
Echo: save the earth!
Wooded valley, probably Bolton Woods Lovers in a woodland clearing a pair by John Atkinson Grimshaw
Today we try something that is called echo verse with Mary at dVerse MTB, I thought it quite challenging, I hope you do better.
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August 13, 2015
Björn Rudbergs writings 
Bjorn, I think this is excellent. You wrote the form well, and your poem has a very clear message! Indeed WE are the ones who are destroying the view! Hopefully there is STILL time to save the earth!
You did well, Björn. You have tackled this very serious issue most effectively. I think that Echo provides some insightful answers, while still offering hope in the end.
An interesting poetic form conveying a very important message. I love the image you have used.
I love this to bits. What an interesting poem form!
A creative poem to remind us of our responsibility to the environment. Well done, Bjorn. 🙂
Nicely done. I like how your echoes answer your questions. Then how you flip that and make the echoes the questions. Hmm. Maybe you have helped me see my way forward on this. Ha.
Our greed and dependence on oil and other things that hard our environment is quite sickening. We def need someone to help us see other/better ways.
Interesting!
I like the fact that Sir Echo as a smarmy sense of humor as well as being the chorus to the speaker. But your message is clarion, for sure.
a very interesting form. Hopefully I’ll have time to participate in this one (I’ve been far too busy as of late…am missing the dVerse community!)
Never encountered this form, Bjorn, but you have conquered it. One of my fave themes, of course, the environment. Most telling is the “you” in this piece, the you of WE, of humankind, gnawing our way through the earth as though we are beavers (and entitled to do it), Great social commentary! Nice to see you at my blog, thanks. Amy
Wow!! Powerful words!!
The echo form does lend itself very well to rhetorical questions – and cuts through those long nonsense answers that politicians give – right to the essence, with its 1-2 syllables.
I think you can do without the first line, though (the one that has no echo). When trees are dying, who destroys the view – already tells me all I need to know.
Yes I thought about that… though I felt something was missing.. a little prologue perhaps…
No, it’s perfect. I remember my poetry tutor said: ‘why do you keep wanting to say everything twice?’ Leave the work to the reader, it’s very clear.
Such heartfelt lines. Beautiful work Bjorn 🙂
Interesting and beautiful
clap, clap, clap!
ah, how greedy and slow we are to care for our planet?
Echo – Dammit!
haha. Love this, Bjorn
The form was good, of course,
[ooops, I deleted the rest of my comment, forgot the policy of d’Verse.
I put a badge next to my poem, that gave readers permission to criticize — consider borrowing it sometime if you wish. I’d give more interesting feedback then.]
You are allowed.. 😉
Well, since it is against d’Verse policy to question or criticize (or anything other than compliments), may I suggest you put that image I made in your right hand column or with the poems you want open to honest feedback. It might be a good thing for all d’verse poets to consider.
What you write on my blogpost is between you and me, what’s done in the dialogue on the dVerse discussion is another… So let’s hear your criticisms… Cannot be worse than what I feel myself on this poem.
“How will I live if I consume and take a loan?
Echo: alone
And what remains, when all that matters is our cash?
Echo: Ash”….these lines go straight into the heart…a wonderful use of the echo verse…
We need more echos out there for our planet. A thoughtful piece, Bjorn. It hits me hard as I think about the horrible spill in the U.S. recently ….Animas River through Colorado, New Mexico and Utah.
And a powerful echo.
I like the message and conversational piece on saving the environment Bjorn ~ I thought the opening lines were specially striking for me ~
Thought-provoking use of the form that really lends to the desired outcome.
You did an excellent job on this. A very true write as we are indeed the ones spoiling the view.
Bjorn, thanks for letting us read your experiment with this form…not bad (if not your best) but I do like the wine/whine echo 🙂
Highways of life littered
Twittered
Dreams of Brain
Drain
Human Deep
Sleep..:)
Excellent social commentary. I like how you asked questions and the echo was the answer (mostly, except when the echo was the question). Peace, Linda
I somehow feel that you had a more promising start, than how you chose to end it – don’t get me wrong, but I felt so…..
This is a very interesting construct of a poem – and one that I have not seen previously. In this case, the form “echoes” the content wonderfully.
You nailed this form perfectly! Very clever, and good topic.
Wonderful and thoughtful post shared