Save the earth

What happened here, the woods look brown
When trees are dying, who destroys the view?
Echo: You
What’s that virus, what destroys its soil?
Echo: Oil
How can I stop it, hinder this disease?
Echo: cease
How will I live if I consume and take a loan?
Echo: alone
And what remains, when all that matters is our cash?
Echo: Ash
And if we cease, what do we get what’s the delight?
Echo: light
With light and water they will live, all what’s dear
Echo: deer?
Yes and there above in trees there’s cawing crows
Echo: rows?
Not anymore we’ll save the earth and live on wine.
Echo: whine?
No I’m happy now, and we will save the earth
Echo: save the earth!

Wooded valley, probably Bolton Woods Lovers in a woodland clearing a pair by John Atkinson Grimshaw

Wooded valley, probably Bolton Woods Lovers in a woodland clearing a pair by John Atkinson Grimshaw

Today we try something that is called echo verse with Mary at dVerse MTB, I thought it quite challenging, I hope you do better.

August 13, 2015

34 responses to “Save the earth

  1. Bjorn, I think this is excellent. You wrote the form well, and your poem has a very clear message! Indeed WE are the ones who are destroying the view! Hopefully there is STILL time to save the earth!

  2. You did well, Björn. You have tackled this very serious issue most effectively. I think that Echo provides some insightful answers, while still offering hope in the end.

  3. An interesting poetic form conveying a very important message. I love the image you have used.

  4. Nicely done. I like how your echoes answer your questions. Then how you flip that and make the echoes the questions. Hmm. Maybe you have helped me see my way forward on this. Ha.

    Our greed and dependence on oil and other things that hard our environment is quite sickening. We def need someone to help us see other/better ways.

  5. I like the fact that Sir Echo as a smarmy sense of humor as well as being the chorus to the speaker. But your message is clarion, for sure.

  6. a very interesting form. Hopefully I’ll have time to participate in this one (I’ve been far too busy as of late…am missing the dVerse community!)

  7. Never encountered this form, Bjorn, but you have conquered it. One of my fave themes, of course, the environment. Most telling is the “you” in this piece, the you of WE, of humankind, gnawing our way through the earth as though we are beavers (and entitled to do it), Great social commentary! Nice to see you at my blog, thanks. Amy

  8. The echo form does lend itself very well to rhetorical questions – and cuts through those long nonsense answers that politicians give – right to the essence, with its 1-2 syllables.
    I think you can do without the first line, though (the one that has no echo). When trees are dying, who destroys the view – already tells me all I need to know.

  9. The form was good, of course,
    [ooops, I deleted the rest of my comment, forgot the policy of d’Verse.
    I put a badge next to my poem, that gave readers permission to criticize — consider borrowing it sometime if you wish. I’d give more interesting feedback then.]

  10. “How will I live if I consume and take a loan?
    Echo: alone
    And what remains, when all that matters is our cash?
    Echo: Ash”….these lines go straight into the heart…a wonderful use of the echo verse…

  11. We need more echos out there for our planet. A thoughtful piece, Bjorn. It hits me hard as I think about the horrible spill in the U.S. recently ….Animas River through Colorado, New Mexico and Utah.

  12. I like the message and conversational piece on saving the environment Bjorn ~ I thought the opening lines were specially striking for me ~

  13. Bjorn, thanks for letting us read your experiment with this form…not bad (if not your best) but I do like the wine/whine echo 🙂

  14. I somehow feel that you had a more promising start, than how you chose to end it – don’t get me wrong, but I felt so…..

  15. This is a very interesting construct of a poem – and one that I have not seen previously. In this case, the form “echoes” the content wonderfully.

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