So now I am doing my third entry for Friday Fictioneers. The first week managed by Rochelle Wisoff. A beautiful picture like this by Rochelle always brings dark thoughts to my mind.
Meeting for breakfast at their restaurant was a bittersweet but silent end. The waitress, Dolly, greeted them with her usual smile and they got found their table by the window.
“I got the paper to sign from my solicitor” said Geoff.
“Fine”, she said “but at least let us take some coffee first”
Looking at the spring flowers outside they drank their Java in familiar silence. When Geoff’s face went crimson, and he grasped for air, she screamed:
“Call 911, it must be his heart”
She managed a quick nod to Dolly before the ambulance came.
—–
October 25, 2012
Björn Rudbergs writings 
Ooooh, Bjorn, you always can read the mind of the woman scorned! Deliciously devious.
Thank you.. 🙂
Hi Bjorn,
Shoud have had the decaf. Hell hath no fury . . . Good revenge and conspiracy tale. And an argument for home cooking. Ron
I think home-cooking was ruled out in the first place as even more dangerous. Or are you suggesting that Geoff should learn to cook all of the sudden.
Love that quick nod to Dolly…as in “thanks hon, it worked like a charm.”
One little word of crit. The word “got” feels clumsy in they “got” their table. Maybe “they found”…only a suggestion.
Once I attended a workshop taught by a journalist who suggested that get and got should be expunged from literature which started me on got mission to get got and get out of my novel.
Other than that I have nothing to say.
“Get” and “got” are from Saxon English and have been considered incorrect in written English probably from the Norman Conquest in 1066, when French became the aristocratic language, before finally blending with Saxon. They are also incorrect in spoken English, although it is much more difficult to control the spoken word. I was horrified when I was obliged to teach their use in France because the text books were based on spoken English. “I’ve got…” should be “I have…” English teachers are probably the only people who bother with it these days. I occasionally use the abhorred words in my translations, but I’m not very proud of so doing.
Thank you very much for this background and correction. It is a clear case of “Swenglish” apparently 🙂
I’m not sure any of those words are in our dictionary here in Arkansas. It’s three pages, starts with ain’t and ends with y’all.
How about gotcha?
oh my…dont mess with any woman…even worse 2 of them lol. nicely done
Thank you. I like stories with a little twist.
‘It must be his heart’… I love that! Appears Dolly serves more than Java on occasion…
p.s. thank you for adding my blog to your roll…
Or just maybe the Java is extremely bad 🙂
Some people will go to great lengths for their customers.
Customer first, but to be honest… Geoff was the guy picking up the bill I presume.
Phew, that was close… so far as insurance policies go. Good one!
Very convenient. No ink – Not valid
A lovely dark little tale. I think the Fictioneers have a very dim view of life 🙂 Thanks for visting mine.
It is much easier not being banal on the dark side.. My real life is much better.
I will never trust an ex again. Good thing i don’t drink coffee. Beautiful story and aptly titled.
Aloha,
Doug
Coffee is ideal to mask poison. And as a matter of fact, I think Dolly might have used caffeine… 🙂 Big doses are lethal.
I’m checking my coffee now…oh wait…I made it.
Nice! Glad to see there is more than me with dark thoughts from this beautiful picture 🙂
I always reverse. Give me a dark picture and I would find the sun in it…..maybe 🙂
That’s why I drink tea…or maybe not! You have the Friday Fictioneer ending twist down precisely.
Thank you so much. Tea would probably work as well..
Until the quick nod, I thought it was an accident, Quite a twist Bjorn. Good work!
Parul
Within the fictioneers, every word, especially the last one’s count.
Oh man! For her it was all or nothing….
good one, but this group has made me a bit paranoid!
It’s all in the context of the group.
Nice twist! And, a dark one, indeed. Don’t mess with Dolly. Well done.
Thank you 🙂
Unique take on prompt.
Thank you 🙂
Oh darn, he’s having a heart attack (yawn). I can sense the lack of panic in her voice. Her and Dolly will have to go have a cocktail and celebrate. Good one, Bjorn.
As soon as the life insurance is paid 🙂
Ah, diabolical! You never drink anything offered by your ex – that’s a rookie mistake. Nice story!
He had considered that, that’s why they met in a restaurant
Wonder what she dropped in his coffee? Hope it doesn’t show up during the autopsy.
I do not know, but plenty of caffeine might do the trick
I expect to see Alfred Hitchcock enter in the last paragraph and describe how the two of them were caught and are now doing time in San Quentin. Nice twist!
I leave the final end to the reader’s imagination 🙂
HAHA — okay my own suspicious mind says someone was going to do better with the inheritance than the divorce. Wonder if Dolly got a cut of the take?
I think there are many options for how this can end.
So evil. Great story. Didn’t see that coming at all.
Good, best reward for me was to surprise a reader
really nice one. a good surprise in the end 🙂
Thanks, sometimes a twist is one way to make a good story. Next time I might do poetry.
I stay away from poetry. I’m terrible at it. I tried it once for fun, but that’s it. I always admire people that can do poetry.
Yes, I do believe the Friday Fictioneers are a morbid crew! Good work!
I will try to be less morbid next time.
No need to be less morbid… I’ve got the child prodigy death angel assassin thing going on over at my site! 🙂 (I swear, I am not a warped human being!)
It seems that he wanted out, and got his wish with Dolly’s deadly coffee! A well told story best read while enjoying a cup of coffee that you made yourself 🙂
Better alway make your own coffee
I enjoyed reading this entry. I haven’t got a clue on writing fiction yet, but I love to read these 100 word stories.
And, thanks for subscribing to my blog. I appreciate it.
It is great fun both to write and read, I have just started recently.
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Such a devious woman, she will blame Dolly.