Summer defeated by frost
sulking she left, carried by geese
southbound leaving for autumn
succulent grapes on the vines,
Leaves wrought by wind from the trees
leisurely falling. my face
lends a cushion briefly before
leaf leaves the sky blue. decaying
Darkness, dangerous beast, sends us
dampness of dusk, a depression
darker than black, consuming my
daring remembrance of summer
Today Grace hosts dVerse with Mongolian Meter, a syllabic form of 7-8 syllables that is head rhymed of quatrains.
October 6, 2022
I so love summer and I am apprehensive of the darkness of the long winter. Admiring each mood that you created with each stanza, summer sulking, autumn leaves leisurely falling, and dark beast of winter.
The concept of this form seems to resonate in the “hokku” fashion of extended communal poetry that Basho did, leading to haiku. The style, rhythm, and most important, the “indirect connection” of themes. Stress on the first syllable is very noticeable in Hungarian, a language said to have originated in this Asian region.
So interesting… it was the first time I heard of this form… Alliteration is common in Nordic poetry… wonder if there is any connection there?
I like the personification of the seasons–summer sulking, and the dark, dangerous beast of winter. I do not look forward to that darkness.
So well composed, Björn, and in three stanzas! I love the personification of summer sulking and the alliteration in the final stanza – and you have geese in your poem, perfect for autumn
The alliteration, the personification work wonders to highlight beautifully your love for summer.
“…daring remembrance of summer.” Great closer to really effective work BR. Thanks
This is beautiful Bjorn, so uplifting… 🙂✌🏼❤️
A lot of fun imagery in this poem. I especially like the face-cushion for leaves.
Luv the defeated Summer which sulks in the depression of a victorious winter. A small battle starkly revealed
The “defeat” of summer, the “decaying” of autumn, the foreboding “beast” of “darkness,” all engulf us in the persona’s sense of oppression — powerful use of imagery, Björn. Yes, winter’s on its way.
That last stanza (for me) is so much more than Winter arriving.