Ravenous, I eye you,
scrutinizing slips of skin
gawking, ogling
fantasizing
how smoothly hair
will wind around my hand
before I yank and drag you
to submission.
But I meet your gaze
and your flick-knife-smile
obliterate
that innocence,
turning me from hunter
into prey.
Edvard Munch
Today I host the Quadrille at dVerse. As usual, the form is simple, 44 words exactly, and it must contain the word of today, which is “eye”, also prey contains an eye. This poem started with me pondering how to use the homophones I and eye. I know it is sinister, and it is truly fictional.
March 7, 2021
Björn Rudbergs writings 
Creepy!
Intended to be
You succeeded brightly.
Delightfully twisted in so many ways! 😊
Ha… love to twist around.
Ooh, how the tables turn!
Indeed they do… I think they were spinning before going 180 degrees.
That is just a twist! But I admire that flick-knife-smile.
A sharp lady
A most delicious turning of the table!!!!
Thank you
wonderfully strong turn – especially the use of these lines:
But I meet your gaze
and your flick-knife-smile
obliterate
absolutely so powerful!
Thank you… it was not my intention to write in first person being a creep… but sometimes you have to try.
well, a narrative voice doesn’t always mean it truly is “personal” – you hardly strike me as being a creep!
This poem sucked me right in, quite like the gaze you speak of in this compelling writing! Loving this line the most: “and your flick-knife-smile . . .” ❤
I was happy with that compound word
“Your flick-knife-smile” …..legend…legend…tables turned…dark, wicked, delightful, tense, fun, tight, extraordinary..in 44 words…
I do remember learning a lot about twists in few words early on in Friday Fictioneers
I’m so glad you added that this was fictional! 😀 I like the “flick-knife smile,” too–that sound indicating quick and swift, perhaps also reptilian.
It was a compound word I came up with… I saw it as something hidden opening up
It’s a good one.
And it can turn just like that. Chilling photo reminds me of some horror movies where a person wakes up and the monster is standing in the room. Such a deft composition.
I enjoyed writing it in the same way I think Munch enjoyed painting that shocking picture.
photo = artwork
This leaves me with a very unsettled feeling. I really liked, Your flick-knife smile.
The avenger’s smile
Very dark, but there’s a nice wit to it as well.
I am glad you saw the wit in the darkness
Wow!!! A bit of a tango there.
Masterfully written. Tension in your players works for a dramatic piece.
Much love.
Ooooey-gooooey good stuff, Bjorn. Nice turn.
And thanks for hosting!
Love a girl with a ‘flick-knife smile.’ 🙂
This isn’t the first time you’ve written something a bit BDSM. You okay? Lol.
Not a thing wrong with consensual BDSM between consenting adults. 😉
Nobody said it was ‘wrong’. It is good for a laugh though.
It is a way of life for many, many people and couples. In particular those in chronic pain find it helpful in controlling pain and pain levels.
Bondage, submission, pulling people around by the hair? I thought it was tongue in cheek.
It is not quite like that however, everything is respectful and consensual. I suggest (even just for curiosities sake) doing some real reading (not Shades of Gray or whatever that fictional stuff is called). A good one and interesting too is,
“Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns” by Phillip Miller and Molly Devon. It’s older but highly factual and speaks to you in real life about real life experiences, desires, cautions, commitments and the deep and abiding love between these two people.
That’s what Björn’s poem is about though, hence my comment.
Ha.. I wrote it tongue it very much for fun… but I leave any interpretation open.
That was how I read it, and it made me smile 🙂
Maybe a bit sinister but very interesting reading!
Oh you were mesmerized!
Oh my yes….you’ve captured the Munch painting so very well. These words are chilling: “and your flick-knife-smile” when we read to the end.
Your poem’s second verse took me to Roberta Flack’s song, “Killing me Softly”. Well done.
Love the switch in the second stanza. It was unexpected!
Twinged with a bit of darkness.. it certainly grabbed the readers attention.
I really like “flicked-knife smile”.
Spicy! Love the role reversal and the fantasy of it all.
for some reason “scrutinizing slips of skin” is resonating with me
flicked-knife smile made my hair stand on end. great poem.
“flick-knife-smile” gosh! But seriously, eyes can certainly be game-changers.
“flick-knife-smile” what a word! and what a twist!
Wonderful write Bjorn! Please read my DARK post — “Last Dance” …have .I finally lost it?
True to the Bjorn Form! Haunting!
How quickly the balance can shift. (K)
Deliciously dark, delightful twist.
Ooh the ending made this poem look veery creepy
“your flick-knife-smile” oooh how I like that!
Ohhh, this is deliciously dark poetry, Björn. I love how the hunter became the prey!
Wow, such a twist 🙂
-David
Love the turn here. Made me smile🙂Nicely done.
Pat
Darkly twisted! Love it.
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