soft the crackle-crack
frozen leaves beneath my soles
in this doubtful fizz of dawn
as autumn bids farewell
with hoarfrost heavy in his beard
Today Grace hosts dVerse MTB with a form that was new to me, the Wayra:
1.a pentastich, a poem in 5 lines.
Join us and write this short form. We are also encouraged to include onomatopoeia.
November 18, 2021
This is exquisitely woven, Bjorn! I love the departure of Fall here with “hoarfrost heavy in his beard.” Such a strong image! 💝💝
So sad to leave the autumn season. I love that sound with the frozen leaves and that hoarfrost heavy imagery too.
So perfectly described! I could feel that crunch of the frozen leaves in the “doubtful fizz of dawn.” Wonderful!
Oh, brilliant, love that last line
That’s a very apt final image.
A perfectly woven Wayra, adieu to Fall, prepare for snow up to the windows, and treachery on the highways. Your poem is gentle, winter is not.
I love that last line.
Nicely done! I haven’t heard of that form either… I will have to give it a try
well done a degree of cold I hope to never know!
Doubtful fizz of dawn…love it!
“Doubtful fizz of dawn” is fun.
Beautifully textured sounds……that description of the step in frosty leaves…yes! And autumn ends heavier than it started….
Thank you… love the trance in your poem…
Wonderful onomatopoeia! Love the sound of the frozen leaves.
We must have caught the same inspirational wave, Bjorn. Loved “doubtful fizz of the dawn.” There can’t be a better way to capture this bleak feeling in onomatopoeia!
I love this. ❤
Autumn is still at the golden season here, with odd mornings of fog (like this one). Your words remind me of what’s on the way.
haven’t seen a bird with a beard but love the sounds of sound-words + alliteration here, Bjorn!
A fizzy poem,I must say! ❤ Loved the phrase "Hoarfrost heavy in his beard".
Autumn with a frosty beard – love this image.
I can really picture that final line. There were times when I lived in Canada, I would walk to the local pub, and my eyelashes, nose hairs, the lot, would freeze.
I would just live to experience at least once in my life the scene you have described! Sounds enchanting to me.
That first line is sharp and balanced, and you can feel all the mists and moods of autumn in this short piece. Visual, yet the sounds are sharp and clear as well. And I appreciate the use of hoarfrost–that is a hard word to work into modern poems, but it’s perfect here.
You’ve captured the crispness of autumn. (K)
In a few lines you have captured that poignant sadness of autumn giving way to winter.
Perfect for this time of year!
Hoarfrost in his beard … a wonderful image. I can see it, almost feel it. BRRRRRR.