Still life

My days are sand and water,
as a dying river gently flowing,
dawn to dusk, to slaughter
time, diminishing, not growing.

My weeks are rock and timber
as a castle by the river crumbling
spring to fall, to cinder
ash, disintegrating, tumbling

My years are wind and oceans
as a battle by that castle, raging
birth to death approaching
sand and water, slowly aging

Still Life with Hourglass, Pencase and Print
Gerrit Dou

Today Victoria is guest-hosting at dVerse and asks us to guest-host with a soliloquy, paying extra attention to form or other poetic devices, I tried with a simple rhyme scheme and some meter.

August 26, 2021

21 responses to “Still life

  1. I like that this poem encompasses many seasons and milestones Bjorn with a bit of rhyming lines. The first stanza gives the illustion of times quickly passing by.

  2. This is beautifully done Björn, with the flowing rhyme scheme and lyrical structure. I really feel that battle as I go through life sometimes!

  3. I sense the pressured pace of work, and remember when time seemed to be escaping me as well. Hang in there, Bjorn. Retirement will lend more time for idle pleasures!

  4. Bjorn, sometimes I think those poems written in haste are the most stunning…in any case, this one spoke deeply to me. Your use of simple rhyme and meter served the intent so well. Strong metaphors.

  5. Your soliloquy is sterling, with vast profound grasping at Life itself. Your use of rhyme is subtle, and the refrains are effective.

  6. Bjorn,
    River, rock, sand, and castle: wedding time and structure, the course of nature as it takes it toll on our aging bodies, flow seamlessly in a natural meter and rhyme.
    pax,
    dora

  7. Wonderful Bjorn. The first stanza I’m reminded of the Colorado river in the United States which is barely a trickle when it reaches the sea

  8. I enjoyed the general flow the poem (no pun with the eternally flowing sands of time intended, of course). ‘Oceans’ and ‘approaching’ caught in my teeth the first time around, but I managed to get it right the second time. I must say that I largely enjoyed the general dry decay of the piece as a whole – no putrescence or rot, but rather the distant, deliberate, unstoppable erosion of time. Delicious.

I try to reciprocate all comments. If you want me to visit a particular post, please direct me directly to that post.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.