We never walked as close
like this before;
soundlessly we tiptoe closer,
closer
but we never touch,
still I feel the zephyr of your nearness
as a breeze of attar and the subtle drum
that is your heart.
…I close my eyes…
The day is overcast,
but you
have brought along this subtle sun of us,
this buzz beneath the boughs
still bare, this spring,
this day of being close.
But when I turn to kiss your lips
you’re gone,
and in your place are buttercups.
Lucian Freud
Today Mish hosts OLN at dVerse, the prompt where you can share any one poem you want. Join us and read great poetry.
April 29, 2021
Björn Rudbergs writings 
I love the heart of this poem specially the zephyr of your nearness, drum sounds and this part: the subtle sun of us. Bring out the buttercups!
I do love buttercups! And how exquisitely you have conjured this love story amongst flowers. I especially love:
‘you/have brought along this subtle sun of us,
Excellent puente, brother. Romantic and whimsical. I liked “still I feel the zephyr of your nearness”.
Greetings Bjorn,
Delightful springtime resonances here…
I love the wistfulness of this.
I have loved buttercups since I was a child, Björn, and the pairing of the Lucian Freud painting with your poem made my heart skip. I especially love the lines:
‘still I feet the zephyr of your nearness
as a breeze of attar and the subtle drum
that is your heart’
and
‘…you
have brought along this subtle sun of us’.
Oh, the buttercups, such wistful regret and that play with ‘the subtle sun of us’ captures both memory and desire which I quote from TS Eliot as April for me is a combination of wedding anniversaries and loss.
Nostalgia…
Pucker up buttercup… 🙂
Outstanding work, Bjorn.
I especially like the lightness , which becomes even lighter with the vanishing. A great close.
(Friendly proofread note: Did you mean “feel” the zephyr? I can’t conjure “feet”.)
Indeed I mean feel… thank you so much
Such wistful romance. Beautiful written. And how I long for warmth and buttercups.
These lines cast a spell: “still I feel the zephyr of your nearness as a breeze of attar and the subtle drum” I feel the magic in the buttercups!
Your poem wafts, gentle as warm zephyr ❤
I had to look attar up which is embarrassing as it's an essential oil I had to buy for one of my potions. I also had to see if this Freud was linked to that one and am pleased to see he is his grandson. He's a talented artist.
Romantic and dreamy and yet a feeling of longing. I especially like
“but you have brought along this subtle sun of us”. What a beautiful phrase.
Your description of buttercups is gorgeous.
“still I feel the zephyr of your nearness” I love this line. So close and so far in the longing of this.
Beautifully done, romantic.
Pat
The meditative rhythm in this is intoxicating. Love is intoxicating too. Well done.
But when I turn to kiss your lips
you’re gone,
and in your place are buttercups.
A little disappointment may sometimes be compensated by a little dividend in its place which may not be material but still felt hurt by a lover’s heart.
Hank
Very good puente! There are a lot of people experiencing what you shared at the end of your poem.
I love the Freud painting …. and your beautiful poetry.
A wonderful poem, beautifully penned, and imbued with such rich imagery and poignancy. Best Regards
This is exquisite. I love that you left it so vague that it could just as easily be about a father and daughter as a romantic couple. So many parents are divorced now—I often ponder how dads (and moms) must suffer not getting to spend enough time with their children.
Buttercup, such a simple bloom. How romantic with a touch of sadness in your words. Close, but never touch, like parallel lines.
a lovely sweet twist, you write romance well, tantalising!
Beautifully written!
Ah that longing so beautifully played, that last line sneaks up.