The Folly, I’ve earned

Oh my baby, no never 
please never return
when you left, I was lost, 
but I’ve found me again
now I walk on our streets
being cold from the burns
your deceit left inside
when you left me in pain.

Oh my baby, no never
please never return
stay away from my streets
where I’m man for my hat
I have pride, I can cope 
and your lessons I’ve learned
Cause you left me in blues, 
I’m alone but can scat.

No, no. baby, no never 
please never return
I can walk, I might dance 
while I’m healing my burns
into scars I can keep
to remind me, that love
is that illness, your plague
of the folly I’ve earned.

Melancholy by Vincent van Gogh

Today I host dVerse MTB where we write Anapestic Tetrameter, and I decided to divide each 12 syllable line into two 6 syllable lines, This is an old poem I rewrote with the idea of imagining Dr. Seuss writing blues.

April, 4 2022

23 responses to “The Folly, I’ve earned

  1. You made a great job of the re-write, Björn. I like the repetition, the shift from ‘now I walk on our streets’ to ‘stay away from my streets’, and the way you kept up the rhythm.

  2. Oh I feel the resistance and strength he is mustering. I like the contrast of “being cold from the burns” and the way the extra “no” in “No, no baby” seems to bring pause and attention, like a plea even to himself to resist.

  3. I love this combination of blues-meets-Seuss. It’s upbeat in rhythm but with serious undertones – ‘blue notes’ I suppose!

  4. Yeah, you nailed it alright, BR. Well done. I can certainly relate to the sentiment/message, too. Salute.
    And Thanks for hosting!

  5. This is a wonderful blues Björn. I like the upbeat beat together with the blue sentiments. Would really like to hear it as a song too! 🙂

  6. I can imagine this being sung, with the repeating refrain at the beginning of each stanza – very bluesy. Just need a Fender Strat 🙂

  7. Very clever, and the refrain, the blues call and return, mixed with the Suess rhythm is brilliant fun. This was a tough prompt for me.

  8. Before I read your note, my first impression was “this needs to be sung, to be played” …. great challenge, tricky challenge, really difficult challenge (for me.)

  9. I love these lines:
    “where I’m man for my hat”
    “I’m alone but can scat”

    From what I’ve seen, pain like this is where the best music comes from.

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