by the precipice –
basking in the setting sun
lone forget-me-nots
mulling over cloudscapes
sailing onwards and away
Today we write Jisei (death-poems) at dVerse with Frank. It was a long time since I tried my hands at a tanka.
November 19, 2020
Running in the slow lane
The view from here ... Or here!
“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” — Albert Einstein
chronicling my quarter life crisis
Now we see through a glass, darkly
rejuvenatement - not retirement
words and scribble.
The Quantumverse
Poetry, haiku. Life, word play, puns, free verse
About fantastical places and other stuff
Björn Rudbergs writings 
An exquisite sunset Jisei, Björn. I love the subtle hints of colour in the setting sun and forget-me-nots, and the disappearing cloudscapes.
Your first lines relates so well to a Japanese death poem. My saying about a tanka has always been “When a haiku just won’t do . . . ” As in, some haiku just require those extra two lines! 🙂
The “lone forget-me-nots” — a beautiful image and when related to death, so appropriate. The individual, staring into the abyss, wants to be remembered by their loved ones…that can bring comfort as they move on….
This is just a beautiful metaphor for death and yet signifying the beauty of living as well.
I love the idea of ‘sailing onwards and away’ – it’s very positive and uplifting. It’s normal to fear death, we’re programmed that way, but really we might as well fear being born. There’s no way around either one.
I love the flowers, (willfully) oblivious to impending death, enjoying the passing clouds. This is beautiful, Bjorn.
This death poem is serene, almost as if an acceptance to death itself. How beautifully written!
The images you add together make something positive and lingering, even though they are about things passing.
Excellent tanka, brother, rocking the prompt, and putting a smile on my face.
Exquisite, Bjorn! You’ve captured the transience–and wonder–of life so vividly, in such beautifully elegant, yet simple, imagery.
Forgotten they will not be, no matter
Ephemeral flowers – beauty and transience – and there at the edge, at the sunset – they bloom. The Buddha would be proud (if that were not an emotion incompatible with transcendence).
Beautiful Bjorn!
exquisite delicacy of imagery and implication
Such subtle talk of death.. the precipice, setting sun, and forget-me-nots mulling the idea of cloud sailing. Cool.
One’s last vision should be uplifting, as so well said, here.
Lovely, as that blue-gem flower.
At the edge of death, still life and beauty. Love the hopefulness.
What a serene tanka- lovely Bjorn.
A flower begins to die the moment it is picked and the fact you chose forget-me-nots makes your death poem even more sad 😢. It is so lovely Bjorn. I have goose bumps.
I like the contrast of the precipice and the sailing clouds. (K)
Beautiful. The flowers fade just like us with the setting sun… and the cold of winter.
What a gem, Bjorn! Serenity!
Lovely poem–the images of ephemeral things that linger in our minds.
oh we both wrote a tanka! and this is just so microscopic and beautiful!
Your poem speaks of attachment to life and the detachment of death all in the one verse. I like it’s delicate refinement.
Your poem speaks of attachment to life and the detachment of death all in the one verse. I like it’s delicate refinement.