We always promised that we’d stay in touch.
But you moved South and I stayed put; I met Patricia and I hid my memories from her jealousy.
She nagged me about all the girls I had before, but I kept mum about you.
To prove commitment we got married; she had Brian who might have been my son.
Our parting stretched over twenty years and ended only with Brian overdosing.
Now Pat has left with our plumber Bill and finally, I’m free.
Free to spread my wings and leave.
Go south, to meet.
Keeping my promise to stay in touch.
This picture made me think of the connections of the phone, and the wings of the bird. Maybe there are those moments when you truly can start again. I don’t know what will happen, I leave it to you to ponder.
Friday fictioneers is a weekly event among bloggers where we write 100-word stories to the same picture selected carefully by Rochelle, who always gives us the most amazing stories. Head over to her blog and read, or fly with the frog to other stories.
A whole lifetime in 100 words!
I hope there might be yet a few years…
Maybe they’ll meet again, if it was meant to be
Or he have FBI arresting him for stalking.
Oh, I really liked that. So much to ponder! Well done.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
Thank you… I tried to fill in a larger story in sparse prose
It’s a long shot after twenty years, but if you don’t give it a try, he’ll never know.
Nope… and since all is lost anyway…
A hell of a lot happened in 100 words. Nice one.
Thank you… In flash you have to write it compact
Agree with the others, this is a masterclass into how to pack a big story into few words. Phrases like “might have been my son” – it’s just five words but all the implications!
Thank you… I think that writing a short story like this we always have to know the readers… and then we need fewer words.
That’s a lot in 100 words, lost love, marriage based on suspicious circumstances, a drug overdose, dissolution of said marriage, and a hope to reclaim the love lost. I especially like the way your ending mirrors your beginning. There’s a poetic flow to it.
That is a challenge I learned in a creative writing course— to end it similar to how it began.
Excellent! I cannot believe that was only 100 words. More, please! I’d love to read what happens next.
So many thoughts about the situation. OTOH the odds of her there, waiting for him, after he spent a lifetime choosing to be with someone else, are slim-to-none. In some ways his wife was relegated to 2nd place during their marriage, as nobody can compete with an ideal, which is the pedestal he placed the one who left up on. I hope it works out for him, regardless of whether he gets back with her or not. Good story, Bjorn.
Maybe there were to many wrong choices being made here… maybe his former has gone through a similar journey
Sometimes those synchronous events happen, then you have to wonder if it was meant to be all along…
A stalker in the making! Haha. Then again maybe the open flame will welcome him.
You never know what will happen next.
I love the phrase “I hid my memories from her jealousy”. I wonder if he’ll find his first love?
Doubtful… but at least he should try
Liked the phrase ‘stretched my wings’. You won’t know unless you try.
I think that is what matters in the end.
this feels like you are holding a yarn and as the lines go you are slowly, slowly finding the other end, ending it with a knot of freedom, of becoming, of rekindled love.
I hope there will be some love in the end… but if not, at least he tried.
That’s a really well crafted story, Bjorn. Such economy! Your choice of precisely which details to include is masterly.
Thank you… but it takes a reader with a bright fantasy to see the story.
I can only echo what’s already been said. You really wrote an entire novel in 100 words. Bravo!
A complete novel or maybe a preludium to the next novel.
That feels very real, that drifting in and out of a marriage, almost because of a shared geography rather than any real feeling. I wonder if the meet will happen, if anything will come of it. Great story telling, Bjorn
Thank you… I tried to get into that complex emotion of sorrow and hope… maybe the real end does not matter, the important is his decision to leave.
It’s a great piece of writing. Heartfelt, sad but hopeful
hopefully, it’s not too late. but i’m afraid she has moved on.
I wonder if it matter that much… the important thing is that he made the choice to leave.
Yearning and longing come clearly across in you story, but time is said to be a great healer – although time can also be cruel.
I think he will find a connection in the end… there are so many things happening in all our lives. In the end it’s the choices we make, and he is filled with hope.
I’m sorry… I am repeating 😉
A whole lifetime in 100 words. And I always wonder at those who get together for the wrong reasons…
I wonder too.. sometimes we make all the wrong choices and yet it might come out right in the end.
I loved ‘who might have been my son’ there is so much in those few words.
I wanted to capture as much emotion as possible without really telling everything.
A stylish piece, Bjorn, a masterful piece of work
Thank you… writing about emotions by telling with actions is a great challenge.
Incredibly written, Bjorn. A story in a short 100 words.
Beautiful, tender and it says so much in so few words, excellent, Bjorn. There are probably so many relationships like this.
I think life is filled with both the relationships that could have been and those who shouldn’t have been
Oh my, thats really good, “Brain who might be my son” so matter ion fact, so sad, Brilliant
Emotions can be understood without telling them
Yep indeed, really special piece.
To be trapped into marriage by a jealous–and unfaitful—woman? I’m glad your MC is finally free!
She set him free by leaving really.
Oh there is a tragic love here. Such a faithful promise kept through the ages. I hope she still remembers.
This was wonderful, Bjorn. Almost a lifetime of waiting.
A hard life. Pat for Patricia? That constant reminder
That’s a great story. so much condensed in 100 words. Perfection!