Prepping for the pending pandemic, Peter and Paula purchased pepper and pork to pressure-cook preserves; they paid for ten packs of pasta, ten-pound potatoes, poaches of parsnips and pickled peas, but oats for porridge they already had.
They packed their purchases into their Pontiac and leaving the parking lot they praised themselves the prudence to pack before the passion of pestilence-pillage would start.
“Prepared”, panted Paula and Peter whooped as they parked the pickup in the porch by the pigpen.
But Peter panicked as he picked up the packs; they had forgotten the beef.
“We should have written a list”
Ok the first thing that struck me was the half-empty shelves reminded me of articles I have read about people preparing for upcoming shortages in the wake of a corona-virus shortage. Then I realized it would be fun to maximize the usage of the letter p… not really sure it meets the bar for a real story.
Better stories can be found if you visit other Fictioneers, but you should really start by visiting Rochelle, she is the one that sets up the challenge and set the standard for the rest of us. You can also click on the shipping frog below.
Fun! I remember empty shelves leading up to Y2K. Seems we humans love a reason to horde.
Doing well to remember to be alliterative in the middle of the panic! 🙂
while forgetting the beef (and the beans)
Nice humor .My parents were both from Pennsylvania, so I understand things like this
P-p-p-p-p-perfect, Bjorn. Of course one of the MCs had to be Peter. The frog is priceless!
But surely Peter also packed a peck of pickled peppers 🙂 Enjoyed that. Great fun.
Brilliant, and exercise in alliteration, you sir, are the winner!!
Ha! I was just at my grocery store and noticed they were sold out of bleach. Plenty of hand soap though! (Cue eye roll)
Perfectly profound- I like it. Cheers. I read an article to stock up on easy foods- that didn’t have to be healthy- rice, ramen noodles etc. Im too broke to hoard.
Peter Piper ;picked a peck of pickled peppers
Playful and poetic, great take on the prompt. Next time may I suggest you do the shopping online 😉
This is my keyboard
Maybe I will have even more problems
Purely a pandemic piece, with absolutely no pandering to alliteration,. primarily speaking, although the prompt is paramount to the current paranoia, it is also part and parcel to the imperative of prepping for the worst but posturing for the party line, Quite potent and appealing, if you put it to me.
You take alliteration to the apex of anomalies. Absurdly its awesome.😀
Definitely should always write a list – one either buys too much or comes home with all the wrong stuff.
Bravo! this was very well alliterated, and on Point! The ultimate irony would have been if Peter had been squashed under all that produce!
I like it 🙂 Add “paper” (as in toilet paper)! Not that you can eat it, but you certainly need it if you eat. The supermarket shelves are being emptied of this most important commodity in the UK, as I’m sure they are elsewhere.
it’s the way of things that panic buying can cause one to miss important stuff. 🙂
Fun! If only “beef” started with a “P”, they would have remembered it!
pork, poultry and peef you mean
I don’t care whether it met the bar for a short story or not – it was great fun to read!
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
Perfect palliteration pal!
I can’t outdo Randy, but I’ll not be put-off in proffering a post. Pretty well penned. Picking up a few pickled peppers as I proceed. Peachy story.
Purply and purposely put, Pochelle!!!
I shouldn’t, but I can’t help and laugh. Your piece is too funny. Almost p-ed myself. I can’t understand I’m unable to find toilet paper anywhere, what’s with toilet paper? at least our first aid cabinet is well stocked with over the counter medicines.
Fun story, you put a smile on my face.
Wow P pandemonium, he’s gone proper potty
Very entertaining story, Bjorn! Love the letter p idea. The shelf this week does look a bit like the recent photos I’ve seen of the shelves in Italy. Here in France, my husband (who is an at risk person) and I have stocked up some and are going to stay put for a while and see how things go. We did make a list though. Potatoes, pickles, and peanut butter were on it!! =)
pork barrelling pointed puns!
well done … we have massive shortages here … taken me a week to buy my usual toilet paper supply but people are fighting in the aisles, two charged. They are stocking up to sell at inflated prices, it is really sadly quite crazy 😦
I enjoyed your alliteration. It’s nice to have something amusing from this crisis!
Hahaha love the P focus. Very clever with this one !
A welcome and witty diversion from the virus unfolding around us. Clever to come up with so many ‘p’s’.
I suddenly have to pee.
Every year there’s a new virus to terrify us. Web MD says coronavirus is a cold. My friend, who works in the medical field, says more people die every year from the flu than these annual outbreaks.
Pat a cake, pat a cake, bake me a cake, never mind the beef. As I need something sweet to have as a treat. Bjorn you have got me thinking, well done
Very cute, creative
Practically Perfect: Pandemically pertinent, properly punctuated prose. Public – private paté/pastiche. Plague passages.