Not easy to fit
the rhythm of bits
it tilts
into pieces; no wit
or reason is lit
it wilts
like flowers in grit
are lost without shit
in guilt.
A simple lai for the form at dVerse
About fantastical places and other stuff
Sharing my thoughts, poems, travel & art
Taotalk is a forum for the discussion of both the academic and pragmatic aspects of dao and Daoism, with participants expressing themselves on Daoist writings and pragmatics from their unique perspectives. It serves as a community for Daoists, and those interested in Daoism, to gather and talk dao.
Living on the equator but longing for snow
Passion for writing ignites my soul's momentum
A journey through the seasons with two adopted whippets, a poet and a camera
Hoping to inspire the world one word at a time.
Well done, Keep it up!
Different!
Another anti-lai poem — illustrating how the need to repeatedly rhyme can thwart good content and make force rhymes. I agree.
HA! My sentiments exactly and aptly put!
It’s difficult to take the lai as a vehicle for serious poetry, and we know it was used as a sing-song memory device. It’s better suited to light-hearted nursery rhymes. I just wrote an anti-lai and posted it at dVerse, but I think the next one will be a nursery rhyme.
I don’t think there’s a way of writing this form that doesn’t just sound like a list of rhymes and near rhymes. I suppose we just have to treat it like a limerick 🙂
Love it to bits Bjorn 🙂
I like the thought of it wilting without reason.
Laughed at the last lines. Certainly you got the rhyming right! What’s the next form going to be, btw?
Very funny and reminds me of the need of ‘shit’ in my garden plot!