I hitched a ride one day
and you my friend
was all I wanted
(and your car)
we rode and rode
without a care
until we reached
a crossroad
and I said;
“Now… turn left”,
but you drove on
saying only that
“This road is straight”
caring not
that we were lost…
and I said:
“Now… stop for gas”,
but you went on
saying that
“we still can go a while”
caring not
that we had lost…
and when I left
you stalled
and stayed,
alone
hoping that somehow
a car, a life, goes on
without
some maintenance and care…
Ok… I thought about the car ending up in the woods as a failed relationship, and decided to capture this in a quick poem, also keeping in mind a discussion I led on dVerse on narratives in poetry. Many many interesting comments to find there.
Friday Fictioneers is a group of bloggers led by the tireless Rochelle who lead us and make sure we always keep it down to 100 words.
—-
January 23, 2019
Björn Rudbergs writings 
Clever
Thank you Sue
without maintenance and care. A great metaphor, Bjorn
Yes needed both for cars and relationships
Perfect symbol. The only catch is that it doesn’t work that way
I think without maintenance and care both cars and relationships will break… but maintenance and care is no guarantee…
Yes things and relationships always wear out but taking care of them yields the best results
You captured that oh so very well, Björn! Perfect metaphor for relationships…
Alas… and for cars too.
This made me think of conversations I’ve had with myself, lol. Could interpreted many ways.
Indeed… and take care at the crossroads.
Beautiful metaphor!
Thank you
Very cleverly done, Bjorn.
Thank you
Love the analogy, written with your customary excellence.
(I felt your explanation was unnecessary)
I sometimes leave an explanation, more as a guide how I read a picture perhaps. not for the story itself
I LOVE this, Bjorn. I too saw a relationship, as you know from my story. I saw a relationship going nowhere. You have brought beauty and poignancy that I skipped. This is gorgeous.
PS) very interesting link.
Thank you… the thoughts about narrative poetry helped me this time… i have my plans on doing something about that. One of these days
Good metaphor – we all need that little care and attention to keep us going. Nice one.
I think we are more like cars than we care to think
Very good, I like this and marvel at the poet in you!
Poetry is fun… but it’s better when it tells a story.
Amazing poem and a great metaphor. Wonderful.
Thank you… it was fun to express it in poetry.
Nicely done! One partner was definitely more committed to that relationship than the other.
On was committed but careless, the other just careful
Liked the allusions to what happened.
Not everything has to be told…
Everything needs care and maintenance for sure-
relationships and cars- both need to move smoothly.
Car In Cyclone – Anita
Indeed… we need it just like cars.
a hitchiker goes where the driver wants to go. methinks he doesn’t have a choice in the matter unless the relationship is taken into another level.
That depends if the driver wants something more with the hitchhiker than being helpful
The parallels drawn between the maintenance of a car, relationship, and life is brilliant!
Loved your poetry
Thank you… storytelling in poetry is fun.
OK. The man was uncaring for everything, both his wife and his car. Good that you left him. About his car, we can see the photo.
Ha… yes the old car looks like many marriages
Philosophically wonderful.
Thank you… I try to find an idea in a picture… usually the easiest for me.
Dear Björn,
I love the analogy and your wrote it very well. Thank you for thinking outside the box and seeing something other than just a picture of a car.
Shalom,
Rochelle
To me it’s often easiest to find a symbol or a metaphor in a picture… and this time it made sense
There’s a certain rhyme and sadness here, a certain inevitability which I find interesting. Thanks for posting, Bjorn.
A poem has to have some rhyme or at least some assonance…
What a great metaphore, masterful as ever.
Thank you…
Very nice. Works both as a metaphor and literally as about a man who chooses not to ask for directions.
A man never asking for directions would probably fail in his relationships — literally
Your analogy poem is lovely and telling.
Thank you… stories are fun in poems
Provocative!
Thanks
I loved this Bjorn. Really well done.
Thank you Sandra… it was fun to write.
so it was not only about car, it was about life also
For some life and car is the same thing… but it could have been about life only.
Super metaphor, Bjorn, and a great take on the prompt. You have suffused your poem with wistfulness, but not unhappiness, which reflects the way you introduce the narrator in the first verse, who wanted the person (and the car). Their mixed motivation from the outset shows that this is not a grand passion but a pleasurable excursion by two like-minded individuals. Very skilfully done!
Maybe the relationship was doomed to start with…
Wonderful metaphor. I sincerely enjoyed your verse, as always!
Thank you Brenda
All too many relationships fall apart just like this. It’s why women complain that men don’t listen.
Seems like the person was too sure and opinionated – relationships fall apart when one person feels he/she can lead all the time without paying heed to the other’s opinion. Good one!
excellent. Love the line about maintenance and care!
Loved the comparison between a life and a car’s life. Nicely interwoven. Great work, Bjorn
Good analogy 🙂
This is brilliant
Cleverly constructed.
Nice one, B. I knew there was more to it than a car running out of gas.
Love the picture Ted… and I knew there had to be a metaphor somewhere