Hitchhiking with care

I hitched a ride one day
and you my friend
was all I wanted
(and your car)
we rode and rode
without a care
until we reached
a crossroad

and I said;
“Now… turn left”,
but you drove on
saying only that
“This road is straight”
caring not
that we were lost…

and I said:
“Now… stop for gas”,
but you went on
saying that
“we still can go a while”
caring not
that we had lost…

and when I left
you stalled
and stayed,
alone
hoping that somehow
a car, a life, goes on
without
some maintenance and care…

Ok… I thought about the car ending up in the woods as a failed relationship, and decided to capture this in a quick poem, also keeping in mind a discussion I led on dVerse on narratives in poetry. Many many interesting comments to find there.

Friday Fictioneers is a group of bloggers led by the tireless Rochelle who lead us and make sure we always keep it down to 100 words.


—-
January 23, 2019

69 responses to “Hitchhiking with care

  1. I LOVE this, Bjorn. I too saw a relationship, as you know from my story. I saw a relationship going nowhere. You have brought beauty and poignancy that I skipped. This is gorgeous.

  2. a hitchiker goes where the driver wants to go. methinks he doesn’t have a choice in the matter unless the relationship is taken into another level.

  3. OK. The man was uncaring for everything, both his wife and his car. Good that you left him. About his car, we can see the photo.

  4. Dear Björn,

    I love the analogy and your wrote it very well. Thank you for thinking outside the box and seeing something other than just a picture of a car.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  5. Super metaphor, Bjorn, and a great take on the prompt. You have suffused your poem with wistfulness, but not unhappiness, which reflects the way you introduce the narrator in the first verse, who wanted the person (and the car). Their mixed motivation from the outset shows that this is not a grand passion but a pleasurable excursion by two like-minded individuals. Very skilfully done!

  6. Seems like the person was too sure and opinionated – relationships fall apart when one person feels he/she can lead all the time without paying heed to the other’s opinion. Good one!

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