It looks like she’s sleeping, smiling
in dreams built from the summers
we spent by the sea.
I thought she’d been cured
by my giving and caring…
… but a glass-heart like hers
can never be mended…
… or duct-taped…
… waiting for fault-lines to open
and break her apart.
Now curled like a kitten —
she’s wax-pale and stiff,
not in the orange of visiting hours,
she’s free from the reeking of prison
but stuck in her arm
the syringe
she claimed she had tossed…
… and later I learned of the cause
at the hands of her uncle.
After reading the entry for Rochelle and her comment on rhyming on orange I realized that I had to bring in a syringe which is at least a half-rhyme to orange. I will try to return comments latest on Sunday. Time is flying and lots of things to do at work.
Friday fictioneers is a challenge to write a story in any form you like as long as you let the picture inspire you and you use 100 words. Rochelle keeps us together and sets the example with her own writing.
What is a Wednesday without a little Friday?
—
January 16, 2019
Björn Rudbergs writings 
Wonderful poetry as always Bjorn. You manage to tell the whole story while keeping it tight and perfectly paced.
Thank you… I love poetry that tells a story. Sometimes that is an underestimated part of poetry missing.
Wonderful poetry but oh so difficult a subject…
It is a terrible subject, that I think happens way to often
Indeed.
built from the summers we spent by the sea ~ What a yummy line!
You took the prompt and ran with it and broke my heart. Well done.
I saw the brokenness and projected it onto a human being.
Your poetry is. as always, beautiful, but about a not so beautiful subject. So well done.
It is a terrible subject… but alas it also a beautiful part.
Very tightly controlled, like a precision lathe
Thank you… poetry can work as a sharp needle.
Dark subject handled expertly. Well done.
Thank you… with darkness you have to write with a sharpened edge.
Tragic and beautifully done! The way you’ve handled this powerful subject is stunning.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
Thank you… I try my best
Like this portrait of the layers of pain and dysfunction.
Always tragic when someone is breaking and cannot be cured.
Yes, it is. This hits close to home.
Beautiful words for a painful story. Excellent.
This flowed beautifully, and very graphic too.
That got darker and darker… nice one!
A heart-breaking tale told beautifully through poetry.
A sad poem, Björn. I had to go and read Rochelle’s piece since you discussed a connection. Very interesting to see the play on the piece she struggled to write.
The story broke my heart too. Such sadness is such superb poetry. Great work.
-Rachel
Superbly written, Bjorn.
And too tragic for further words.
sad story but beautifully written. well done.
This painted both character and setting well! Nice turn on the prompt! 🙂
Thoughtful piece…
Wonderful – you have justified the prompt, the title goes so well and so does the accompanying song. I loved the second stanza – where you have compared features of glass with her broken heart
Outstanding. The style and content are perfectly matched.
Click to read my FriFic tale!
Lovely poetry but the tale brings a lump to your throat
Sharp and to the point. A fine piece of writing
Jaggedly realistic. Having lost a loved one to the needle, I know what a difficult promise “never again” can be..
Dear Björn,
Magnificent verse and story. The advantage of free-verse is that you don’t have to rhyme anything–not even orange. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
I do include some internal rhyme also when writing free-verse…my free verse is never really free… and this time I write to a form where I have to use exactly 100 words 🙂
interesting
Fantastic piece. Excellent line breaks.
These are my faves:
“Now curled like a kitten —
she’s wax-pale and stiff”
“the syringe
she claimed she had tossed…
… and later I learned of the cause
at the hands of her uncle”
I presume the implication is that he molested her, which led to the drug abuse. Or he could have just straight-up gotten her started.
so realistic and sad
Never trust an uncle. Research shows they are the worst relatives, even worse than second cousins by marriage.