The moaning mansion isn’t haunted (yet),
no ghosts or ghouls, no poltergeist
not a single soul are visiting from a far beyond,
Yet the rooms upstairs aren’t empty (yet)
Still barefooted, in dust she walks,
Miss Otonashi, back and forth;
with nightgown threadbared grey,
she stares through windows, glares
with corpse lights in her eyes. Wild haired
still she butterflies from room to room…
calling for her baby, calling for her groom.
Miss Otonashi never goes to sleep before it’s 3 AM;
she dreams of seaweed, breaking waves,
the stranded ship she left alone.
The moaning mansion isn’t haunted (yet).
Written for the Sunday Muse #27
Also linking to the Tuesday Open Platform at toads
Björn Rudbergs writings 
Very atmospheric and with depth too.
I like the combo of different elements and aspects walking through this – this reminds me a bit of a “Miss Havisham” character, but for the obvious differences … yet she seems to be equally haunting, and edged for a cruelty curdling her lips. But perhaps, it is loss and no one but walls to listen and hear –
I really loved the lightness of butterflying from room to room! Wow – just amazing – it sets her up so clearly in my mind, shuffling through dust, threadbare etc. It’s definitely an atmospheric little tale 🙂
Thank you… I definitely had Miss Havisham on my mind writing this… but with a tad less bitterness and lust for revenge maybe.
I think you hit the right notes with her 🙂
Loved your haunting tale full of imagery.
I loved the take on a living person haunting a building. I do wonder though, why choose the name ‘Otonashi’. I did a search and the first reference to come up was a character name from a Godzilla film. It seemed too distant and disconnected from your topic. Did you just pick the name from the air?
Ha.. I just looked for a name that would fit in the text…. more the sound of a name I think
You seek the unfamiliar and uncommon. That is not a bad thing, but the name is incredibly hard to spell. So, perhaps you also like to be contrary.
I see the phrase “barefoot and pregnant,” but she appears to have lost both her baby and her almost-husband, perhaps at sea. Now she’s alone back home and about to commit suicide.
She’s a miss, so they never got married. I feel like he was a naval officer, killed at sea. Maybe the stress caused her miscarriage.
I wonder if she will commit suicide… more like shrinking away maybe.
I like this a lot. The way you let the story unfold is hypnotic in a way. Nicely crafted!
I’m glad this wasn’t too scary…yet…
What a shivery, eerie read. 🙂
Oh Bjorn this is amazing! I love how you have made it haunting before it is truly haunted. Brilliantly done!!
It haunts from the first line. Great buildup, Bjorn.
Oh, this kind of haunting is something prevalent and common in a non-essential supernatural world — this is what real nightmares symbolize; “glares/with corpse lights in her eyes” — this loss and pain make for the kind of fear that is both heartbreaking and scary. I really like your character sketch and the slow unraveling of her tale — the ‘yet’ in parentheses works really well.
Perfect for this time of year. Quite eerie.
Perfect poem for cclose to Halloween. The yet (yet) adds emphasis to the ever deepening madness held within.
kaykuala
The moaning mansion isn’t haunted (yet).
Given the image, your last line is a classic Bjorn! It creates an anticipated picture of a far worst situation or alternatively a picture of intended irony and a sense of humor even!
Hank
What a beautiful eerie feel there is to the poem and so visual too as the reader can picture it so well in their mind.
Love the opening line… the moaning mansion and the yet in parentheses!
A wonderful tale for the season!!!
Perfect poem for this spooky season
Your (yet) takes the story to a whole new level of speculation.
There’s something almost Bronte-esque about this one. Love the mood and appropo imagery! 🙂