I never blamed it on the rain that day,
my sorrow never grew from hail or clouds,
I dwelled in shadows when you brought the light,
You brought me laughter, brightened twilight
cleared my darkness, turning night to day.
You painted pinkness on my darkest clouds.
I cannot blame this weather, not the clouds.
It’s the silence after that has killed the lights
Your shroud of leaving blackens night and day.
One day you’ll part my clouds, bring lights again.
Young dark lady by Giovanni Boldini
This was a trickly little form, the tritina, written for Marian at toads. Will also link to Poetry Pantry tomorrow.
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October 13, 2018
Björn Rudbergs writings 
Bjorn! This is absolutely gorgeous. I adore it!
I think this form is challenging because so much repetition can make for a trite poem. Yours is the opposite… full and beautiful. Yay!
I like what you did with this. The repetition works well in a poem of longing and loss.
Also, that painting is lovely.
The longing in the poem and the artistry of the painting make for a delicious duo. Thank you.
Ah, it sounds like it was a good thing while it lasted. Laughter and a brightened twilight. But ah the sadness when it ended.
I like thinking this could be written from a clinically depressed person to his medication. When you find “the one,” it works so well for a while. Then it just stops, and you bottom out. I have a family member who’s always dealing with this, always trying a new pill.
I actually thought a bit from that perspective…
Well done – this is a hard one to make it flow and I see you did without (almost) breaking the rules. I had to break several…
Full of emotional loss and wanting. Excellent.
shroud of leaving blackens night and day… oh that sorrow is palpable!!! Yes that end word challenge does seem tricky!
Your tritina is so beautifully crafted, Bjorn! The opening line is a stunner, as is:
‘You painted pinkness on my darkest clouds’.
Your words are indeed beautifully crafted Björn – how they flow with such beautiful ease.
It is wonderful when someone lights up our darkest times, gives us hope, gives life a meaning.
I hope she returns.
Anna :o]
Cloudy with a touch of pink. I love this poem, both for the form and the ekphrasis.
You mastered the form beautifully! ❤ Especially love; “You painted pinkness on my darkest clouds.” 😊
A nice little story in nine lines and them a hope I felt wishing with the writer, her clouds to depart and lights once more. The picture adds so much more, of the girl dressing outside the car, some very deep memories I often relive but will not tell.
..
.. and “then” a hope.
We tend such memories, don’t we? As much as they tender us. Heightening the imagoes and lavishing the hues. You tend this altar with just enough awe. And will keep writing it again and agin.
A loved one’s leaving certainly does make darkness descend!
Beautifully done, i love the play of light and darkness. The form really accentuates the message of the poem. Very lovely, Bjorn.
Perhaps it is the leaving, that brings the night…for surely someone leaves most everyday? I enjoyed your poem.
well done ~
Loved the form, wonderfully done.
So beautiful :O I’m at loss for words.
Love them and leave tgem some ladies say. Your longing for more is well wrought Björn
Happy you dropped by my sumie Sunday today
Much💚🖤love
Wow! I am impressed. The tritina is an intriguing form and – yes, I agree – it appears to be particularly tricky. That said, I have found that form poems that adhere to a rigid pattern of repetition can achieve a mesmeric quality that I find quite awesome, poetically – to traipse and linger in, for a bit. Apart from meeting the challenge superbly, the piece hits some splendid word-notes. My favorite: ‘You painted pinkness on my darkest clouds.’ A wonderful poem, in every which way, Bjorn.
Reminds of the song,”The Sounds of Goodbye”.
I like your tritina so much. this sort of form can become so sing songy yet you rolled right through this and added ekphrasis as well. I love the light and dark elements of this. You did a super write on this.
I hope the light does return but I believe that in every darkness there is a little light and in every light a little darkness.
excellent work with the form, Bjorn. 🙂
It was a tricky form. And worked magic with it.
It was a tough form, which you handled beautifully. I love, “you painted pinkness on my darkest clouds.”
What a gorgeous Tritina!
Excellent Björn! loving the contrasts here
This beautiful piece both exemplifies and transcends the form. I loved reading it.
You have certainly mastered this tricky little form–longing beautifully expressed.
I like the form a lot, and the message even more. Yes, it’s the silence afterwards that’s the hardest.