When lights went out

I never blamed it on the rain that day,
my sorrow never grew from hail or clouds,
I dwelled in shadows when you brought the light,

You brought me laughter, brightened twilight
cleared my darkness, turning night to day.
You painted pinkness on my darkest clouds.

I cannot blame this weather, not the clouds.
It’s the silence after that has killed the lights
Your shroud of leaving blackens night and day.

One day you’ll part my clouds, bring lights again.

Young dark lady by Giovanni Boldini

This was a trickly little form, the tritina, written for Marian at toads. Will also link to Poetry Pantry tomorrow.
—-
October 13, 2018

34 responses to “When lights went out

  1. Bjorn! This is absolutely gorgeous. I adore it!
    I think this form is challenging because so much repetition can make for a trite poem. Yours is the opposite… full and beautiful. Yay!

  2. I like what you did with this. The repetition works well in a poem of longing and loss.

    Also, that painting is lovely.

  3. Ah, it sounds like it was a good thing while it lasted. Laughter and a brightened twilight. But ah the sadness when it ended.

  4. I like thinking this could be written from a clinically depressed person to his medication. When you find “the one,” it works so well for a while. Then it just stops, and you bottom out. I have a family member who’s always dealing with this, always trying a new pill.

  5. Your tritina is so beautifully crafted, Bjorn! The opening line is a stunner, as is:
    ‘You painted pinkness on my darkest clouds’.

  6. Your words are indeed beautifully crafted Björn – how they flow with such beautiful ease.
    It is wonderful when someone lights up our darkest times, gives us hope, gives life a meaning.
    I hope she returns.
    Anna :o]

  7. You mastered the form beautifully! ❤ Especially love; “You painted pinkness on my darkest clouds.” 😊

  8. A nice little story in nine lines and them a hope I felt wishing with the writer, her clouds to depart and lights once more. The picture adds so much more, of the girl dressing outside the car, some very deep memories I often relive but will not tell.
    ..

  9. We tend such memories, don’t we? As much as they tender us. Heightening the imagoes and lavishing the hues. You tend this altar with just enough awe. And will keep writing it again and agin.

  10. Love them and leave tgem some ladies say. Your longing for more is well wrought Björn
    Happy you dropped by my sumie Sunday today

    Much💚🖤love

  11. Wow! I am impressed. The tritina is an intriguing form and – yes, I agree – it appears to be particularly tricky. That said, I have found that form poems that adhere to a rigid pattern of repetition can achieve a mesmeric quality that I find quite awesome, poetically – to traipse and linger in, for a bit. Apart from meeting the challenge superbly, the piece hits some splendid word-notes. My favorite: ‘You painted pinkness on my darkest clouds.’ A wonderful poem, in every which way, Bjorn.

  12. I like your tritina so much. this sort of form can become so sing songy yet you rolled right through this and added ekphrasis as well. I love the light and dark elements of this. You did a super write on this.

  13. I hope the light does return but I believe that in every darkness there is a little light and in every light a little darkness.

I try to reciprocate all comments. If you want me to visit a particular post, please direct me directly to that post.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.