“The stars look different today” you gasped
and wrapped your hungry thighs around my waist;
“I think we passed its furthest edge”; I graced
your lips; unzipped your silver suit; unhasped
the seventh clamp that kept your secrets down.
You bent over backwards, laughed and let your mane
run wild, be water cold and let me drown;
were air and matter, timeless lost in pain.
We never felt the bottom of our fall,
the point where gravity and time is one,
We climaxed skin in skin and passed through walls,
through further depths to where it once begun.
Where we as one can share this hallow graal
of being born into this world unsung,
Adam and Eve by Edvard Munch
Today Frank hosts at MTB at dVerse and wants us to wrote iambic pentameter (maximum 14 lines that make up a sonnet). I let my sonnet travel through space into a new beginning, and I started with an (almost) quote from “Space Oddity”.
Maybe Major Tom had someone to accompany him in the end.
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October 11, 2018
Björn Rudbergs writings 
I like your description of reaching bottom involving gravity and time: “We never felt the bottom of our fall,
the point where gravity and time is one,”
This actually fits to several other prompts in the past… one on narrative poems and also another on gravity and time-space…
I love the title, Bjorn. and the reference to ‘Space Oddity’. This is a great take on the fall of man and I couldn’t suppress a smile at imagining Adam and Eve in space suits. Some of the lines are quite racy too!
An excellent poem, brother–regardless of the prompt. You are very comfortable within the sonnet form–like I am with the haibun. Your last line is killer; yes, we all do arrive on this plane of existence unsung and untested.
You did this well. I like the ref to the Starman too.
A creative re-imagining of Eden’s couple in space. Love the sonnet specially these lines which alludes to falling from grace:
We never felt the bottom of our fall,
the point where gravity and time is one,
We never felt the bottom of our fall, the point where gravity and time is one,
Great line. I like the way you stretch things here.
Lost in space or a mare running wild… works either way for me. Freefalling into the world as we know it!
Who can blame Adam and Eve – lesser have fallen for such lust. Nicely done
This is beautiful! You described the sensation of free-falling and passing through walls perfectly!
where gravity and time is one – like a cocoon of spatial oblivion – where the birth of a cosmic love knew peace – really loved the imagery this brought to me, the wildness of her into the virility of him
A spectacular poem in iambic pentameter. Love the time confusion – the future or the past. Great stuff!
You do this form so well – so effortlessly!
Adam and Eve meets Bowie… and possibly James Wright’s The Blessing in two-legged form. All done in Iambic…. Bravo!
Great job. These are the four lines that resonated most with me,
We never felt the bottom of our fall,
the point where gravity and time is one,
We climaxed skin in skin and passed through walls,
through further depths to where it once begun.
I am curious what makes you decide to end a line of text with a comma or not.
I really liked the way you took an old story and created a new experience.
Warm and tasteful. Epic descriptions, Bjorn!
Love in space- marvelous!
I like the opening line, but the rest was unexpected and evoked intriguing images.