Let the serpent rule

Your world of ash and charcoal
where only winners sparkle
is dark and patriarchal
your heart is cold as marble

Your sword is dull and blemished
with lies you set the premise
that sharing’s worse than banish
those who seem outlandish.

Your words divide and sunder
in rain of blood, come thunder
wakes the devil from his slumber
and bring us fate of hunger.

The Last Judgement (detail) by Hieronymus Bosch

The form is called a tanaga written for Marion at toads. Tricky one I must say. I will also link up to Poetry Pantry tomorrow.
—-
March 10, 2018

37 responses to “Let the serpent rule

  1. Such powerful rhymes here, Bjorn! Especially like “Your sword is dull and blemished with lies you set the premise”.. Beautifully penned.

  2. You are successful with every poetic form your write, Björn. This one is intriguing and I’m so impressed with the consistent rhyme. Well done!!

  3. kaykuala

    in rain of blood, come thunder
    wakes the devil from his slumber

    Freakingly frightful when devils awaken!

    Hank

  4. When I saw the top of the photo I thought of Bosch’s Judgment but then saw that’s exactly what it was. I’ve never studied it in detail but this makes me want to. I like how well your poem reflects the feeling that the art evokes.

  5. Your words follow the picture with the knives vs the poem swords. I also liked your play on the words, “world, sword, and words’ being in the second place of every verse.
    ..

  6. This one blows me away. Such strength in the lines and your brought some magic to mono rhyme.

  7. What a powerful read this is Bjorn. It was only after I read it twice that I realised I read “and sunder” as “asunder” which of course means the same.

  8. Great rhymes, Bjorn, and I love the way the Bosch image illustrates the Tanaga. My favourite is:
    ‘Your words divide and sunder
    in rain of blood, come thunder
    wakes the devil from his slumber
    and bring us fate of hunger’.

  9. This is a great write Bjorn. The image too sets perfectly with the words.
    For me the most powerful lines are:
    “Your words divide and sunder
    in rain of blood, come thunder”

  10. Bosch was a perfect pairing with your words. One hopes there will be some sort of comeuppance for perpetrating such evil.

  11. Very well done, Bjorn. At this moment, the news anchor is suggesting the possibility that trump may be nominated for the nobel peace prize. I dont think I can take much more. Rabbit hole to planet earth!

  12. I am not familiar with this form, but I feel a dark foreboding in your words. We are walking on the edge of the world as we once knew it.

  13. I love the rhymes, especially charcoal and patriarchal. I confess that I thought it was about Trump for a minute. Everything of late seems to relate back to the that.

  14. Now I am curious about the form–it looks tricky! But beyond the form, the content is stunning–always such a pleasure to read your work!

  15. Thanks for the introduction to tanaga. Maintaining the syllable count does strike me as tricky – though that doesn’t come across here – by virtue of the adroitness with which you have penned – and rhymed -this piece. An awesome bit of writing!

  16. that’s a tricky form indeed. and you pulled it off with ease, it seemed.
    for a moment, i was comparing this to Nostradamus’ quatrains. 🙂

  17. I’m not sure there’s a much worse fate than hunger, unless it’s torture. Both can lead to a slow and painful death.

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