“This will do, it’s not home but it’s got a roof.”
“How do we get in?”
Jimmy knew the answer.
He could climb.
He could fight the grease and rats of ventilation shafts.
He could pick the locks.
She just had to tell him.
Emily hugged her little brother.
“Please Jimmy, I can help you up on the roof … ”
“No need… I’ll climb myself.”
Anyway.
Anything is better than home.
Anywhere their father wasn’t.
Any place where his cold fingers couldn’t probe.
She watched him scale the fence and disappear into the building when a truck pulled up behind her.
What happens with dilapidated buildings? Who are the squatters? That what what I wonder when I saw the picture. For once I left you with a cliff-hanger. What did really happen afterwards.
Friday Fictioneers is a blogging community under firm leadership of slumlord Donna Rochelle. Visit her page and read about the price of fluorescent light. If you want to contribute your own story in 100 words go to her page also or click the froggy below.
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September 27, 2017
Björn Rudbergs writings 
That is such a creepy ending. I read a book recently that is guiding the way I envision this concluding, and it involves the removal of a girl’s fingernails.
That was even worse than I had imagined…
It was horrifying … but gripping, of course. It was about this huge sex slave sort of deal where young girls were being abducted and then sold for high-dollar violent sex and torture. In America, if you can believe that.
Sex slaves exists everywhere…
Ominous truck.
Home is catching up
Either he never reappears and she is taken, or he comes out to find her gone. Whatever way it goes, it doesn’t seem good…
I hope it was the police coming to save them… but I guess it’s too good to be true.
Dear Björn,
Rather eerie piece. I’m confused though…are there three people in this piece. Or did you mean ‘she hugged HER little brother?” Good writing. You do have your own poetic style.
Shalom,
Rochelle
No there were only two people… I will fix that.
Corrected now.. as for style, I write poetry 6 days out of 7, so it’s likely to spill over into my prose… Most of my writing is formed entirely in iambs…. I find myself replacing words to get that ta-TAM rhythm.
Oh great. Dad showed up.
Actually, one of my inspirations for what I have in mind was the Boxcar Children, a children’s book series launched in 1924. I remember reading Boxcar Children stories to my kids when they were young.
What happens when children lose their families (or deliberately leave because of abuse) and they have to take care of themselves?
That i fascinating… though I start to think more Lord of the Flies.
Actually, so do I, but the Boxcar Children is about siblings, not a collection of school boys, and in my particular fantasy, the dragons take care of the kids. You should see the tree house city. Fabulous.
The Boxcar Children is the most adorable thing I ever read. There are a million of them. Read one. I dare you.
I remember the Boxcar Children. I brought it up at writers group one day and no one seemed to know what I was talking about. Thanks for proving I’m not crazy, James.
It proves you have a good memory. I can’t speak to the “crazy” part, Russell. 😉
I sense an ending that is not pleasant, no , not pleasant at all. Horrible in fact.
I’m afraid so too…
The escape plan seems to have failed, for at least. A sinister story indeed.
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Maybe it’s a reverse Hansel and Gretchen…
Oh oh, just when you thought you had escaped…
It always happens… from Oliver Twist and onwards.
Aaargh! To leave us hanging like that!
Well done, Sir!
🙂 you will have to fill in the blanks yourself
Indeed!
I am not so dark or pessimistic as the rest of you and actually know a pair of siblings who were in a similar circumstance. The truck belonged to a security guard who rescued the two girls taking them home to his wife who raised them along with het three other kids. Not everything is dark and scary in this world. I am hopeful about the truck because of my two friends.
How great… yes there is always the chance that there will be good people coming.
I, too, fear the worst but maybe kanzensakura is right! One can always hope. Keep us guessing, Bjorn
I think that could be the case… maybe I should have had voting buttons for a good end.
You really did leave us hanging! But yes, such abused children may become runaways. She at least has her brother— or she did…
I think sometimes runaways are so for a reason.
I’m sure the truck belongs to some saviour. You have painted such a sad and desperate picture, the only way to cope is with hope.
A chilling back story which suddenly made an appearance at the end. Great story!
I think it’s a simple case where she gets arrested, and Jimmy has to go and try to break her out. Well done on an open ending!
Father and his cold fingers got her – horribly good.
Oh, no! Is that the dad, come after them? Great cliffhanger, Bjorn, done with style.
I don’t think I want to know what happens next. I deal with the reality of it too often in my counseling office. This is good writing, Bjorn.
creepy ending. i don’t want to imagine what happens next.
You left us hanging, and I left Perry busting to pee.
Talk about fantastic endings . . .
A real toenail biter, Bjorn.
Excellent piece. Great response to the prompt — sad though the outcome might be. 🙂
You got me with the cliffhanger. I can see too many unfortunate things happening from here.
She climbs the fence quickly and disappears in the building. But whoever is in the car doesn’t give up so easy. I’m hooked already. Intriguing!
I would like to believe the truck brought in good tidings. But then…Lovely writing, Bjorn.
really nice flow and glad you went there with a topic that many people like to ignore –
nice nice. eerie. well done!
That’s a great story, Bjorn. I’m with the optimists; the people in the truck will help.
BTW are you using ‘truck’ in the US sense, meaning a car sized vehicle with a cab and an area for loads, or the UK sense which would be a large commercial vehicle, a lorry? I read it as a large vehicle, but most of your comments clearly see it as a pick-up. The driver of a large commercial vehicle would be more likely to help, I think.
I’m impressed by the amount of story you manage to tell in 100 words – so much really important detail!
Very good!
What a menacing tale, with a capital M, no, a capital MEN. The tone is playful yet desperate, just as I sense these poor unfortunates are. Love the sinister ending.
This is sinister in so many ways Well done.
Any place where his cold fingers couldn’t probe….Ugh…that line gave me the shivers!
Menacing ending or helpful beginning.
Scary end – looks like her creepy father has caught up with her. Perhaps Jimmy will help her overcome him. Great atmosphere.
Dear Bjorn,
Strong writing here. Needs must for the kids and home is where you hang your hat.
The cliffhanger works perfectly.
Cheers,
Doug
Awesome take on the photo prompt
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This is so good in a thoroughly depressing way. They have escaped together, but now I see them being separated. You gave us hope of a safer future, and took it away. But maybe the person driving the truck is a nice one.