I watch them from afar, pretending that i read the Times. it’s bound to happen soon; It always does; I only leave to chance for whom.
Well-planned karma is my MO.
I stir the tepid coffee; each turn another heart-beat; breath controlled.
The blonde is getting ready; I see the signs; she scans the diner for the restroom.
I put a fiver on the bar and leave my seat to pee. Aroused I find my preselected spot.
Wait.
“Tack, Tack”, stiletto heels on concrete.
Suddenly I’m on my back, a rope around my neck.
She grins:
“Karma is a bitch”
© Roger Bultot
A long time since I did a grim story with a twist. I hope it works and made you a bit surprised.
Rochelle gathers us around the same picture every week and we struggle to find that unique angle (or maybe less so) in 100 words. The fun is called Friday Fictioneers.
—
May 17, 2017
So…I’m having a slow brain day. Was Karma the one assaulted or an observer to two other people–a victim and the attacker? I swear, I’ve spent all day re-reading sentences to see if they make sense. I think I need a mental back-up drive! Or maybe a reboot. Can I do today over?
Ouch I hoped it would be killed that it was the prey turning predator… he selected his victim in random… but karma was that she came prepared…
Yep, I get it – nice twist 😂
🙂
Ha ha ha. Well you know I love this.
Your meaning is very clear. And I’ll bet he likes the rope. 😛
🙂 some do think being choked is the perfect thing…
I got it all at the second reading. Then I smiled at how he accepted his end. Strange to say, this story gets better each time I read it.
Maybe only a predator can understand another predator.
Oh! What a delightful twist in the end. Well done, Bjorn.
Thank you… it’s been a long time since i did twists.
I love how she became the hunter… methinks she’s seen him at work more than once… 😉
I hope so… or maybe she just enjoys it just as much as him
A great twist. I wonder how aroused he is now? And what about her? Is this how she gets her kicks, or did she just figure him out?
What her motive is remains to be seen… another story.
He got what he deserved. Nice twist.
I think he deserved it… I wonder if she is gonna get what she deserves.
Ha! Karma turned around on him. Good story.
Karma is double edged.
So he finally met his Waterloo. ( Forget karma. I’m rather fond of the old cliches. 😉)
Yes.. a Waterloo it was
Superb tale and so very well the ending.
Thank you…:-)
Killer ladies always work
Bjorn, I think this might be the most perfect line ever: ‘each turn another heart-beat’ – so wonderful. And the story is great too. Sounds like he got his comeuppance.
Thank you, coming from you that is a great praise… I struggled a lot with that passage…
Sooner or later it’ll catch up to you 🙂
It always does… sooner or later you meet your Waterloo.
Got it first read, no worries. Liked him being stalked by his own karma, fate biting him on the backside – just desserts I’d say! Nicely done, Bjorn
I think Karma has a tendency to do that.
🙂
Dear Björn,
Karma has a way of providing just desserts to go with that tepid coffee. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Oops! Your fantasies are showing!
🙂
I didn’t see that coming – nor did he! Nice one Bjorn
Click to read my Friday Fiction
Sooner or later it’s bound to happen.
Well done! I love it when Karma gets the bad guy. :o)
Even if Karma is a bad gal?
Absolutely! I know some bad gals that definitely deserve karma. :o)
So well planned karma is his MO and well planned karma is what he got! Nice job, Bjorn! I have one question about the end of the first paragraph: “I only leave with whom to chance.” I didn’t understand that and wondered if it was a typo?
I did a small change (but I do think it’s hard to write will).
Nicely done. Great build of suspense and descriptions – the tepid coffee adds so much to the sense of him watching and waiting. I didn’t see the twist coming, and it works well.
Coffee is bound to go tepid when you wait.
You built the tension beautifully, I read slowly dreading what I thought was to come. Loved that ending twist.
Sometimes we have to hope there is an unexpected end.
That was unexpected and fun!
🙂
I love it!!! Karma is certainly a bitch…and balances things out:) Great write…your prose are so poetic, Bjorn! such a pleasure to read.
Thank you, I tried to keep Karma on the right side in this story.
Yes, I was surprised. And very glad.
Ha.. it’s always good when the bad guy bites the dust.
Yikes…can’t feel sorry for him, though! Sounds like he has hurt a lot of people. Good twist.
I wonder if she has hurt of lot of people too…
Great twist at the end.
Twist and shout
Wow, biter bit. Nice one Bjorn
a story with fangs
Great mis-direct. Karma indeed!
Sometimes you need to surprise
Yesss good for her. Predator turns victim and victim becomes the victor
Good riddance to bad rubbish; she has done future victims a big favour. In some ways, the twist at the end of this story has a certain element of dark comedy to it.
It seems he seriously misjudged his prey. She was one tough woman. Good writing, Bjorn. 🙂 — Suzanne
Took me a double take but glad I made ir