Bottles always bottles.
Suzy always spent her mornings cleaning. The formica table was sticky from his spilled beer.
From the master bedroom she could hear his snores. If only …
‘We will build our home with a garden for our children’. Rob seemed honest once.
Before he broke her spirit (and her nose).
Repentance came later, tears and promises. Lies.
She believed. Again and again.
He would lie again when he woke. Then the fits of fists.
If he woke again.
She felt hope rising as his snoring paraxismed.
Maybe it would work.
Maybe hemlocked beer would make his lying cease.
To me this picture screamed abuse, and I expect to write more such stories. Many apologies for last week, I might have missed returning comments. I’m terribly busy at work at the moment, and weekends have wonderful ice for skating.
Rochelle selects a picture every week for Friday Fictioneers, and we all gather to write stories in 100 words.. this is addictive is fun.
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February 15, 2016
Björn Rudbergs writings 
really felt the history and the conundrum….
Point of no return
🙂
Or maybe she needs to lay him out with the big, cast iron skillet.
Too messy I think…
Harrowing tale of being trapped in a viscous circle. Good writing.
I think it’s breaking or being broken.
Ice for skating?
Indeed… great way to get exercise
Haunting picture – great story.
I wonder if she will be haunted?
or the haunter
Dear Björn,
It sounds like the lying might cease in the very near future. 🙂 Good one.
Shalom,
Rochelle
No more lies I think.
Your usual skilled approach to a grim topic, Bjorn.
Excellent piece.
Grim suits us both I think
Sending a heat wave to melt that ice.😉
No please don’t 🙂
“If he woke again…” I think he might not.
Maybe he will wake a changed man.
“Rob seemed honest once.
Before he broke her spirit (and her nose).”
I really like what you did there.
I think this piece would be even stronger if you ended it with the line that says, “If he woke again,” instead of adding the couple of lines after that.
At the same time, I like the inclusion of the word “hemlock” because (other than being deadly) it makes me picture locking a hem … locking him out of it (her skirt) — closing her legs to him, so to speak. I think that’s the best way to “kill a man” … and to make him stop lying, especially to himself. Really, he just needs to know that she can and will walk away from him. I think abusers count on the abused being dependent on them because they love each other, even if in a twisted way.
This just came up on my playlist, which made me think of your poem.
I’m so sad. I know about situations like this much too well.
Did you ever see the scene in the Madea movie where she advice her niece to give her man some hot grits?
No I have not seen that movie… but I do remember the fried green tomatoes…
Excellent write of a hideous scenario…
Thank you… maybe it suits me..
Hemlock – the alternative to marriage guidance counselling. Nicely done Bjorn.
Hemlock is a girl’s best friend.
Desperate situations call for extreme solutions. I wonder if he woke? Well done.
Click to read my story!
Bjorn, you worked some magic here. Nice story, especially with that “lying again” theme running throughout.
Of linguistic note — change “repent” to “repentance” and you’re home free.
Great stuff!
Righteous response I daresay. 🙂 ❤
I know I can never understand why a woman stays with her abuser as long as she does…. I do hope her “enhancement” to his beer works this time!
This prompt has sent you to a very dark place, but there are times when snoring alone can make me murderous!
Really haunting. Such a viscous circle to be stuck in.
such a creepy photo! the story felt very authentic to me–& poetic.
Desperate times and desperate measures … Time to run, I’d say. Well told and chilling to the bone
Desperate measures for a very abused woman but perhaps her only alternative. I like where you took the photo prompt. I think it fits well. Nicely done, Bjorn. Have a nice weekend.
Isadora 😎
Fits of fists definitely deserve a bit of hemlock. Superbly told story of so many women’s lives. Kudos, Bjorn.
They pretty much covered my remarks in the comments. Your story was a perfect fit for the photo. Skillfully written.
i think he really deserved a good night sleep.
Desperate measures for a terrible situation.
Hi Bjorn. I liked this but at the same time felt the ending could be stronger and was too spelt out. I struggle a bit with the writing adage “show don’t tell” but to me, it would’ve been better to “show” that instead.
xx Rowena
Yes I think you are right…on the other hand I love the word hemlock.
Have you heard the phrase “killing your darlings”? I don’t entirely agree. I’ve had a few darlings I’ve been faithful to…until death do us part!
I hope it works, she needs escape
Our stories are on similar lines. Hopefully his snoring and lying ceased 🙂
Sweet justice 🙂
Hemlock’d anything would work, but beer is unique. Great story, and I very much envy you the ice for skating.
Nice job. The two turns in the story work really well. Chilling.
He doesn’t sound like a pleasant man. You described the events really well. I feel for her.
I can understand how you came to this piece. I thought the picture was rather disturbing and i left off writing to it until I could come up with something that eschewed violence.
Don’t fall through that ice.
The story of domestic violence, as played out in so many homes, encapsulated in this story. Raw and dark.
I saw a lot of darkness and abuse here too, Björn–– dark minds… You’ve really captured that dark abuse here, and really well. One suggestion: I think that if you take out the parenthesis, the broken nose read more powerfully. Perhaps a comma after spirit? Small detail for an otherwise powerful piece of writing!
beautifully written.
beautifully written.
I thought of going this route as well but veered off. You did this so well I wanted to poison him myself!
Very haunting story, you painted her struggle vividly.