Both life and cause of death

You’re butterfly effect — causality
of songs, the meadowlark of summer days,
the footsteps swallowed in mortality,
an aftermath from nights and morphine daze.
You’re both the timpani and piccola,
the salt and sugar and the embered ice.
You’re my ocean liner and the gondola
to bring me home and paint the evening nice.
You’re mistress, wife, the best among my friends,
both reason for this life and cause of death.
And when I sit here with my poem penned
with you beside me yet asleep. Your breath
a moonlit pebble path that leads astray.
You’re muse and writer’s block, both night and day.

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Today we have a guest at dVerse who wants us to write in meter. For me it became a sonnet of sorts.

February 2, 2017

20 responses to “Both life and cause of death

  1. I too love embered ice and contrast of sugar and salt. The contrast runs through the poem actually, from life to death.

    An amazing sonnet Bjorn ~

  2. enjoyed this cascade of the close-yet-far-apart. For some reason the last line brought to mind the quote (not sure who said it) “no one can hate you more, than someone who used to love you” (close-yet-far-apart is more than a concept)

  3. I like the repetitive aspect in which you come up with distinctive analogies keeping it interesting. ‘Your breath a moonlight pebble path that leads astray’ is one of my favorite lines.

  4. This was music to me, Bjorn. I’m not sure I can pull it apart without taking away it’s magic but I love how you piled all those opposites together to show just how much she means to you.
    I’ve had a few weeks’ off from the flash fiction as we spent three weeks in Tasmania and I’m madly trying to write up about the trip. We had really bad wifi down there so I couldn’t get much up before we arrived home.
    Hope you’re doing well.
    xx Rowena

  5. I love the rhythm, it reminds me of a heart beating in excitement. I really loved this part:’You’re both the timpani and piccola,
    the salt and sugar and the embered ice.
    You’re my ocean liner and the gondola
    to bring me home and paint the evening nice.
    You’re mistress, wife, the best among my friends,
    both reason for this life and cause of death.” – it really made me feel warm and I really find the proclamations in here sweet.

  6. You’re muse and writer’s block,
    both night and day.

    How someone loving can have a resounding influence on one’s destiny can only be matched by the strength of that person’s feelings!

    Hank

  7. Beautiful! Especially embered ice — just putting my imagination around these two words. Wonderfully unexpected juxtaposition that takes the mind off on a series of explanations and feelings!

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