Vacation planning

· by · in flashfiction, Friday Fictioneers. ·

“Do you remember how we used to love camping?”
“Yes”.
“Do you remember vistas and how we went exploring once?”
“I do”.
“Do you remember how we loved to gaze at stars?”
“Yup”
“Do you remember how we loved to barbecue with friends?”
“Indeed”.
“Do you remember … “
“I remember the mosquitoes and my fear of snakes. I remember rain and how we froze. I remember sunburns, scrapes and cuts, how bad we slept at night… but most of all I remember how much you longed for television.”.
“So I guess we’ll go to Vegas for vacation once again”.
“You bet”.

Though I love camping myself, I also love comfort, so I can see this happening. I also wanted to do a pure dialogue story. I find dialogue hard, so I hope it works.

Friday Fictioneers is a group of bloggers who gather around a picture selected by Rochelle Wissoff-Fields. Join the fun in writing 100 word stories.
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November 30, 2016

94 responses to “Vacation planning”

  1. Funny how that works… I went from tent, to pop-up tent trailer to trailer and am now a comfort-seeking hotel traveler…No way in hell you could pay me to sleep in a tent again!

  3. I’m with you on this one. I only camped for one night, and I had my fill that night. It was in the middle of the hay-fever season. I think the wife’s memory is better than the husband’s.

  4. The dialogue works very well and I can relate to this too. I loved camping, backpacking, sleeping under the stars in my twenties and thirties until we discovered the comfort of a cosy cottage where we could bring the dogs :o)

  6. Must confess I am more of a “glamper” myself. I would be just fine without TV or internet, but I must have a European bathroom. I ain’t squatting over nothing! Excellent story. A limit of 100 words? I’m impressed.

  8. Dialogue is hard. An entire conversation happens inside your head, and it takes a lot of sculpting to make a story take shape. I like the progression you took here. All the steps down memory lane take a turn onto reality street. Nice job.

  9. I think the dialogue worked really well too – felt very natural, realistic, like the couple had known each other a long time. Great story – and quite right, no one should have to go camping!

  10. We took the kids camping when we couldn’t afford anything else, and it was fun. Apart from the rain, the mosquitoes, and the long walk to the toilet block!

  13. I would take the great outdoors any day over a Vegas vacation…the story could read…’Do you remember losing your shirt at the blackjack tables? Do you remember losing our savings at the Roulette table….” nice story

  17. I thought the dialogue worked too. And I’m also someone else who now sometimes struggles to see the attraction in camping – and I’ve done a LOT of it, in very wild places, in the past. Mind you, I’d take a tent over Vegas any day.

  18. I have never been camping and have no desire whatsoever to do so. The dialogue reminds me of my wife’s memories of her family camping when she was a child. She hated it then and hates it more now.

  21. The dialogue worked very well. My husband and I still camp. I love getting all kinds of dirty and not caring then staying in a hotel and getting all kinds of comfy. You caught that feeling in your dialogue.

  23. Dear Bjorn,

    If Mama’s not happy then no one is happy. Vegas sounds like the right choice. Snappy, effective dialogue and a great tale.

    Yours,

    Doug

  25. I really like the dialogue, it tells the full story well. And the symmetrical layout of words is visually pleasing too (with the long sentence, short answer, long sentence, short answer…). I always enjoy reading text with a bit of artisitc flair.
    Great story!

    -Rachel

  27. Your dialogue was really effective and flowed naturally. Talk about extremes from tenting to Las Vegas.

  28. It was fun at the time, signing up to do tent camping again. The food is always great though. It’s best just to visit someone’s campsite, eat supper and go home. That’s my plan.

  34. Nice use of dialogue. I find dialogue hard as well, I blame it on my catholic school upbringing all my characters sound too nice and polite and not real or nuanced.

  37. Good dialogue, Bjorn. It worked beautifully. My dad went from tent to small summer fishing cottage to larger year-round cottage with conveniences. I think it often has to do with aging. Good writing. 🙂 — Suzanne

  38. Hi Bjorn,
    Very well done, especially for focusing on the dialogue and taking on that challenge. I agree on the possibility of finding a middle ground in between Vegas and camping. I’m Australian and I prefer a more natural setting to the built up environment. Perhaps in a cabin with a toilet rather than a tent but I would like to try tenting again soon.
    xx Rowena

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