Every day I scan the mirror of my pond for telltale signs. Bubbles could be the first sign that my secret’s slipping through its shackles.
“I promise, you, it’s just a fling”
(that’s lies, lies)
“I love you still”
(that’s even more lies)
“I won’t do it again”
“Correct, you won’t”
For the briefest instant she had looked hopeful from my affirmative answer.
Until she understood…
Until I closed her glazing eyes.
I walk around my pond again looking for telltale signs. I scan its mirror once again.
The only tiny thing suspicious is how fat my koi has grown.
In honor of the great C.E. Ayr who provided the photo, I had to include a body. I tried to do it by using an introspective monologue combined with a flashback dialogue. I hope it worked.
Friday Fictioneers is a group of bloggers bent on writing the Internet’s best flashfiction in 100 words to the same picture. Rochelle keeps us all inspired by setting the bars (high) and changing Wednesday to Friday.
Björn Rudbergs writings 
Delightfully creepy! I felt the presence of Alfred there. I think he did a cameo. 👍
Ha.. yes it could be inspired by him… or maybe it could have been the one who wrote many of the stories that made it into Hitchcock films… the great Roald Dahl.
“Tales of the Unexpected!”
Great take Bjorn, a suitable tribute to CE Ayr! A good mix of the everyday and the creepy and chilling.
Ha.. it’s been a while since I wrote creepy murders… I used to leave a trail of bodies, but I’ve grown timid.
reminds me of the film ‘Night of the Hunter’ and just as creepy when the reader realises your intent
Ah… I have not watched that movie. I doubt I dare to.
it’s worth seeing – director Charles Laughton & Robert Mitchum is indeed scary
That movie so traumatised my mother, she could not stand Robert Mitchum for years! When I saw the film, I totally understood!
and not to mention ‘Cape Fear’
You can sure fatten up a Koi Bjorn. What a gamer, blowing up bubbles. Got me a scare crow costume.
Ha.. yes beware of places where the fish grow fat.
How Poe-etic of you. Gruesome, and a little too real. Well done.
Ha… love to be Poe – etic…
Grisly and well-written, Bjorn
The grisly is a great lure to writing
delightfully disturbing 🙂
– am smiling
So, that’s how you fatten Kois.
Yup – the best way there is, works even better with eels
When ever I see fat Koi I will always feel uneasy now. 🙂
Ha… Yes they can grow quite big
my secret’s slipping through its shackles. – Love this line!
And using an introspective monologue combined with flashback dialogue worked VERY well. Kudos, Bjorn
I guess with secrets below you will always be nervous.
What a great homage to Sir Ayr, indeed… just the right level of creepy
Ha.. Try to be disturbing as well as I can.
Dark, nice one. At least the koi had a nice meal!
Yummy… I wonder if he will serve koi for dinner to remove the evidence.
Dear Björn,
Dark, well written and just a little too visual. This could give me nightmares. Good job.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Probably a good reason for nightmare… humans are the worst of monsters.
Terrific piece of work here, Bjorn, love the story.
I am not sure if you are poking fun or not (the great C.E. Ayr, really???), but thanks for the mention.
No such thing as bad publicity!
No fun poking at all… Love your writing, and love the image.
A haunting write, the tension is felt, especially when I read the words in parenthesis.
Yes, the words never said are the worst…
Another murder and well done again. The Koi fish gave me the creeps
Koi can grow quite big actually.
Oooooo creepy and horrible. A terrible secret that I hope is found out.
You never know what might bubble up…
Oh, my! Very smooth like the surface of the pond. Well done, I would say!
Lily
Thank you… yes below the smoothest surface the worst secrets dwell
scary stuff, but well-written as always.
Glad to scare 🙂
It is creepy and menacingly chilling. The secret is intact now that the koi is fattened up unless the bones surfaced! Phew!
Hank
I wonder if the koi can eat the bones too.
A fittingly menacing story for a photo prompt submitted by the Master of Menace himself. In fact, I think it was probably a tie in the sinistry stakes this week.
Yes though I think the master of menace was kz… I miss her tales.
Uhhh, you made my skin crawl. Nicely done!
Ha.. hope you will be careful around fish.
deadly, gruesome….. and mean!
Randy
I meant to be mean…
Very sinister. This puts a whole new meaning on feeding the fish!
Or how it is to become fish food.
Excellently sinister. Perhaps the koi will strip her to the bone and there will be no bubbles?
I think he’s safe for the time being… but there are still bones to be picked.
Great story! I love the final detail and the remembered conversation–nicely told! I think you made excellent use of your 100 words–I’m not sure you even need the sentence “I walk around my pond again…”
Thank you… the intention of the second around the pond was to frame the flashback… so it was more of setting the pace than it was needed in the story.
The words and pacing of your story were so deceptively gentle that I didn’t expect such a violent end. Nicely done.
I had to do a double take before processing. Yikes! Great job with the flashback dialogue … a technique I have not tried – though now you’ve piqued my interest.
Well done, Bjorn. I read several stories this week looking for the body. Fish have to eat too. A nice tribute to C.E.
Gruesome! The flashback dialogue makes it even more creepy.
Oh my gracious…that caught me off guard.
Eek, very creepy. And what a way to get rid of the evidence. Great story, Björn.
Dark and creepy, but good writing, Bjorn. It does paint a picture I’d rather not have in my mind. 🙂 — Suzanne
LOVE this. Such a creepy voice.