Telltale signs

Every day I scan the mirror of my pond for telltale signs. Bubbles could be the first sign that my secret’s slipping through its shackles.

“I promise, you, it’s just a fling”

(that’s lies, lies)

“I love you still”

(that’s even more lies)

“I won’t do it again”

“Correct, you won’t”

For the briefest instant she had looked hopeful from my affirmative answer.
Until she understood…
Until I closed her glazing eyes.

I walk around my pond again looking for telltale signs. I scan its mirror once again.

The only tiny thing suspicious is how fat my koi has grown.

In honor of the great C.E. Ayr who provided the photo, I had to include a body. I tried to do it by using an introspective monologue combined with a flashback dialogue. I hope it worked.

Friday Fictioneers is a group of bloggers bent on writing the Internet’s best flashfiction in 100 words to the same picture. Rochelle keeps us all inspired by setting the bars (high) and changing Wednesday to Friday.

64 responses to “Telltale signs

  1. reminds me of the film ‘Night of the Hunter’ and just as creepy when the reader realises your intent

  2. my secret’s slipping through its shackles. – Love this line!

    And using an introspective monologue combined with flashback dialogue worked VERY well. Kudos, Bjorn

  3. Terrific piece of work here, Bjorn, love the story.
    I am not sure if you are poking fun or not (the great C.E. Ayr, really???), but thanks for the mention.
    No such thing as bad publicity!

  4. A fittingly menacing story for a photo prompt submitted by the Master of Menace himself. In fact, I think it was probably a tie in the sinistry stakes this week.

  5. Great story! I love the final detail and the remembered conversation–nicely told! I think you made excellent use of your 100 words–I’m not sure you even need the sentence “I walk around my pond again…”

  6. The words and pacing of your story were so deceptively gentle that I didn’t expect such a violent end. Nicely done.

  7. I had to do a double take before processing. Yikes! Great job with the flashback dialogue … a technique I have not tried – though now you’ve piqued my interest.

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