Commuting close to water

I do neither crave adventures, nor a struggle to brighten Monday mornings. When riding bicycle to work there are little changes every day. Every morning’s different. Today for instance air had claws and teeth; there was taste of autumn and the sun lacked warmth. My hands were colder than before, maybe it is time for thicker gloves. The path around the lake is narrow; it winds and snakes; and there behind a curve a cyclist or a dog who strolls its owner might surprise me on my ride. I realize the brakes need fixing and how very close to water sky can lean. In the corner of my eye I notice how the mallards grown and how they bend toward their water mirror selfs. Perhaps they are only waiting for the further fall to come. And like every morning, I realize how rare commuting close to water really is. You don’t need unicorns to see the magic.

yet a leaf
succumb in tangerine —
thud of acorn’s fall

My path along the water

My path along the water

Today Grace hosts haibun Monday at dVerse and she wants us to find the extra in your ordinary day. Pay attention to let your story be first person and present tense. Put extra attention to the contrast between the haiku and the prose, and let them add another dimension to the whole using juxtaposition.
October 3 2016

29 responses to “Commuting close to water

  1. I love that phrase: ‘air had claws and teeth’ – spot on Björn! I also like the way you merge the practical thoughts of the need for thicker gloves and fixing the brakes with observations of nature. And you;’re so right, you don’t need unicorns to see the magic.

  2. No, you don’t need unicorns to see the magic in this haibun. Fall has definitely come to your part of the world. We had our first 70+ degree day today since May. How wonderful it must be to have a daily commute by water. When I lived in Pniladelphia, my daily commute was by the Schukyll River. It was glorious seeing the seasons changing in regards to the water.

  3. I admire how observant you are with your commute – the changes of autumn, the sky, trail, the animals, the brakes. I love the sounds in prose (it winds and snakes) and haiku (specially the thud of acorn’s fall).

  4. No, magic is not left just to unicorns. How fortunate that you have such a scenic path to work each day. I like your observations of the biting wind, the ducks leaning as they swim, and the winding curves that can surprise you with people or animals…always having to be alert.

  5. But there could be unicorns, around the bend, cavorting with the mallards. I can see through your words the commute that is extraordinary for those of us who rely on cars.

  6. My goodness 😀 you definitely lend a whole new perspective on the season of Fall ❤️ I love ‘ mallards grown and how they bend toward their water mirror selfs’… Beautifully penned.

  7. It is hard to hide the “ordinary” in this a beautiful commute. I enjoyed the details of the winding trail and the air with claws and teeth. My husband bikes for exercise on trails, even at night with the fireflies. He always has something new to tell me about.

  8. ‘how close to water sky can lean’ – I realised this similarity since living out here, a bit closer to nature, where there’s space to notice these things. And loved the thud of the acorn. A mindful, observant haibun of a routine activity.

  9. An extraordinary peaceful commute and you help us experience the change in season and temperature. I love ‘how close to water sky can lean’, something we see here in the Highlands as the rivers fill the lochs.

  10. I adore taking bicycle rides with you! Each time we do indeed see a different perspective along the water — your eyes watching, your words sharing. This is magical!

  11. Yes, brother, a perfect haibun spun out of the exhilaration of your daily cycling to work. Damn, do you still cycle in the ice & snow of winter. All the best phrases have been mentioned & highlighted, but reading them was truly a treat.

  12. You are indeed lucky to have such a lovely commute, which allows you to really feel the change of seasons. Under such close observation, no wonder an acorn seems to be thudding down!

  13. Short stories outlining a novel may be on your path 🙂
    along with your many writing adventures.
    This was very nice.

  14. And like every morning,
    I realize how rare commuting
    close to water really is.

    Cycling has its attractions. to think that each morning presents a different view that makes it all the more interesting


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