Whispered you, my fertile spit
spearhead in the dead of night,
you’re Cthulhu tongued, tied to
ember sighs; yet my fingers
seek the avocado of your flesh.
We’ve built this prison, perfumed
with wont; in habit of conformance.
Our windows covered, barred in
gossamer concrete, and air’s
still stale with breakfast crumbs.
Night windows by Edward Hopper
Susie inspires with the poetry written by Amber Rose Tamblyn at toads, and want us to use unexpected descriptions in you poem. This is more like a snippet than a complete poem, but it’s a trick I’ve used myself sometimes.
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June 23, 2016
Björn Rudbergs writings 
“Ember sighs” and “gossamer concrete” were my favorite unexpected descriptions here. Light and dark, soft and rough — bits of life intermixed. Perhaps it felt unfinished to you but your poem, and its crumbs at the end — feels complete to me. Thanks for sharing.
The sinisterness of the phrase “Cthulu tongued”, the decadently yielding quality suggested by “avocado of your flesh” – just amazingly done descriptions adding to the intensity of the love affair described.
gossamer concrete … avocado of your flesh … ember sighs
my head is spinning with delight at your descriptions
Imbued with mood that resonates for me, Bjorn. So well done.
The snippet fits Hopper’s painting so well. His work is so recognizable, so unique–as it this little poem.
“Cthulhu tongued” Wow! That is totally unexpected, and dark. Love it. You have rocked the prompt. Thank you so much for taking part!
My favorite was “perfumed / with wont”: It combines three senses, “wont” as the way one normally performs doing strange things, “want” as the ache of desire, and “won’t” as what one will not do. “Habit of conformance” twists on those readings and meanings. That’s a rich surprise description for me.
I like the mix of feeling in this conformance and impressionistic lines especially the very last
Such powerful imagery makes your ‘snippet’ seem more than complete. It conveys a most compelling scene, both visual and tactile.
well, if it’s gossamer concrete, then i can stomach it. i usually hate poetry that uses the word ‘gossamer’
One of those words that’s hard to stomach. – agreed
Oh, those breakfast crumbs. Fantastic.
And this:
“my fingers
seek the avocado of your flesh”
And I’m with angie…”gossamer” can be so overused. I LOVE it, here.
Well, I had to Google “Cthulhu,” since I had NO clue, hee hee. How “gossamer” can have actual weight in this poem is a wonderful mystery. Usually, it’s a trite word. Not here, Bjorn. Not here. Amy
Love what you did with these descriptions. I tend to “holdback” a bit in that area of my writing, and am really intrigued and motivated to push that “self-imposed” envelop a bit more than I do.