Conformance

Whispered you, my fertile spit
spearhead in the dead of night,
you’re Cthulhu tongued, tied to
ember sighs; yet my fingers
seek the avocado of your flesh.
We’ve built this prison, perfumed
with wont; in habit of conformance.
Our windows covered, barred in
gossamer concrete, and air’s
still stale with breakfast crumbs.

Night windows by Edward Hopper

Night windows by Edward Hopper

Susie inspires with the poetry written by Amber Rose Tamblyn at toads, and want us to use unexpected descriptions in you poem. This is more like a snippet than a complete poem, but it’s a trick I’ve used myself sometimes.

June 23, 2016

14 responses to “Conformance

  1. “Ember sighs” and “gossamer concrete” were my favorite unexpected descriptions here. Light and dark, soft and rough — bits of life intermixed. Perhaps it felt unfinished to you but your poem, and its crumbs at the end — feels complete to me. Thanks for sharing.

  2. The sinisterness of the phrase “Cthulu tongued”, the decadently yielding quality suggested by “avocado of your flesh” – just amazingly done descriptions adding to the intensity of the love affair described.

  3. gossamer concrete … avocado of your flesh … ember sighs
    my head is spinning with delight at your descriptions

  4. My favorite was “perfumed / with wont”: It combines three senses, “wont” as the way one normally performs doing strange things, “want” as the ache of desire, and “won’t” as what one will not do. “Habit of conformance” twists on those readings and meanings. That’s a rich surprise description for me.

  5. Such powerful imagery makes your ‘snippet’ seem more than complete. It conveys a most compelling scene, both visual and tactile.

  6. Oh, those breakfast crumbs. Fantastic.
    And this:
    “my fingers
    seek the avocado of your flesh”

    And I’m with angie…”gossamer” can be so overused. I LOVE it, here.

  7. Well, I had to Google “Cthulhu,” since I had NO clue, hee hee. How “gossamer” can have actual weight in this poem is a wonderful mystery. Usually, it’s a trite word. Not here, Bjorn. Not here. Amy

  8. Love what you did with these descriptions. I tend to “holdback” a bit in that area of my writing, and am really intrigued and motivated to push that “self-imposed” envelop a bit more than I do.

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