Hope is such a strange word, it rhymes with elope. That’s apt.
But waiting rhymes with hating. Delay and dismay.
I pick lint from the collar of my jacket pretending to read poetry.
I breathe, in-out, one, two, three.
“United flight 5094 is ready to board.”
Don’t look too eager, neither to passive. Boarding pass,ready (slightly moist from my thumbing).
A hand on my shoulder. My heart rollercoasting.
“Excuse me, you forgot your book”.
She has green eyes, not like an agent. I manage a smile.
“Thank you”.
It’s almost pity; but C-4 is nondiscriminatory and everyone’s mortal.
copyright-Rich Voza
I wrote a post that I was not too happy with the last time, so this time I wrote something entirely different. Getting into the head of a terrorist is not that easy, but I guess they are nervous too.
Friday Fictioneers is run by Rochelle, and each week we write stories to the same picture. Hundred words is a target I always try to meet exactly so it takes a slight amount of trimming.
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June 22, 2016
Björn Rudbergs writings 
Nice twist on this.
Stories should come with a twist.
Yes. Always.
Superbly done, so subtle that when all is read every clue becomes clear.
I think with flash-fiction you can do that… in longer writing is too demanding for the reader I think.
True, it’s not so easy to keep that going for chapters, and creating a good twist after 300+ pages is much tougher.
I’d say you nailed it again, Bjorn. This is a good one! It;s one where you read it again and get something new. Spot on!
Like you, I thought my last posts were kind of in need of a re-write or a rethink. This is GOOD because it means we’re all getting better at the craft. As my screenwriting instructor is always saying, “Write on!”
I agree.. but this time I wrote a totally fresh story.
Bravo. It’s not everyday we have the villain as our narrator. Some evil here, methinks.
We might think writing the villain makes us villain… I hope not
This is brilliantly written.
Thank you
Insightful.
I hope so… But then I hope not.
Ha-ha-ha!
must have been a first timer, well conceived
http://obliqview.blogspot.in/2016/06/one-hour-prompt-rich-voza-she-had.html
I think in this line of business you just do it once.
Me too.
I hope she has time to turn him, mortal back to normal.
Maybe.. But I doubt it.
Fab take on the prompt Bjorn! And no C4 doesn’t care who is around and neither do terrorists. Really enjoyed it! 🙂
I think it has happened…
I almost wrote something similar i.e about the 9/11 bombers. Didn’t in the end. Enjoyed your take. See you next week.
It’s sad that we cannot see a plane without thinking bombs,
Excellent, as always.
You are becoming a master craftsman, Bjorn.
Thank you… It’s the constant practice
A great take on the prompt. Interesting to have the terrorist telling the tale.
I think it’s a more interesting, though more chilling, point of view.
Definitely!
I like how the images gradually stack, to create an ending I did not expect at all. Great writing!
Sorry for nitpicking also, but “Don’t look to eager, neither to passive” , should be too instead of to, I think. Sorry if I am mistaken!
No nitpicking at all… Thank you for pointing it out, soon corrected.
a thing of beauty. nice take on the prompt.
Ouch… the tangerine of C4… that’s ominous…
Pity while pitting against humanity? Stranger than fiction!
I think that it happens… remember the terrorist in France who killed a police and his wife finding it impossible to kill their toddler… somehow I think that hate can only help to a point.
Absolutely! I have seen that good always overcomes evil and try to consistently practise this truth!
Very well done Bjorn. I wasn’t sure what C4 was, but I googled it. You incrementalised (if there is such a word) the tension in this, and that barely perceptible swerve towards remorse at the end was a masterpiece.
I thought about it a lot.. .maybe I should add a link for C4… somehow I knew, but I guess it depends which books you read.
I realized it should be C-4 nor C4….
I didn’t know what C4 was either, but Google helped. A great story, and interesting to see things from another perspective.
I realized it should be C-4… not that it makes a huge difference. But yes plastic explosive.
Wow. I was not expecting that! Nicely done.
I love to surprise….
Scary, and I thought he was just a nervous flyer. Great job!
I think he was… but there was a reason for that.
Dreadful but realistic as ever.
I just wonder what it would feel like…I do believe there is always some doubts.
A powerful story that says a lot in a short space. Thanks for writing this.
Thank you for the comment… I tried capture the tension there…
Yikes. I can’t imagine. Hope they don’t put you on some kind of watch list. Well done, realistic.
That would be a strange feeling… after all it’s fiction.
Great job building up the tension. He almost had a nice thought..the green eyes. (Mine are green, too.)
Maybe it did tip the scales in the end…
Very haunting piece, Bjorn.
Indeed.. very much so.
What a way to repay kindness.
Ah.. maybe the kindness did stop him… let’s hope.
Masterfully done. I think everyone must have at least a smidgen of conscience with the forces of good and evil battling it out in their brain right up to the moment they detonate. But who knows. Sadly, hate always wins in their minds.
Maybe we have those who almost did it… it’s not a story we would hear I think.
Nice one, though I feel the opening lines can go away and you start with the “I pick lint…”. Then it becomes stronger but that’s just me.
You might be right… I just wanted to capture that inner voice and tension…
Great and horrible twist. I thought he was anxious about flying… And the pov is great.
I think a twist like this should be horrible… and I guess you can’t say why a person is nervous.
Dear Björn,
That last line left me with an icy lump in my throat. Well done.
Shalom
Rochelle
It did leave me cold as well… that’s a good thing I think.
I like that you wrote this from the terrorist’s POV.
Thank you… somehow it’s a point of view that feels more interesting in a chilling way.
I agree.
Very powerful Bjorn, especially once I’d googled C-4. Now I know what it is it may come in handy for one of my pieces
Well written, Bjorn. I would certainly think knowing you’re going to blow yourself up with others would be scary, even if you’re brainwashed. Let’s hope more are detected before they get that far. Good story. —- Suzanne
Good story for an unnerving issue.
Very chilling. It is not easy to create a sympathetic feeling for such a character. I’m sure they do have nerves before they carry out their acts, all humans are programmed for self-protection. But i guess their conviction sees them through, Or maybe threats of what will happen to others if they *don’t* see it through…
Very tense. Great build-up of clues that gain full significance when you get to the end. Wonderfully managed point of view.
This was great Björn. You portrayed this character really well. It’s too easy to write characters like this in a one-dimensional way. I’m glad you didn’t!