Silence is pregnant with anticipation. Audience is waiting, bowstring tense, we are sold out tonight. The spotlight’s playing on the velvet curtain.
Waiting, I’m prepared, my denture polished to ivory perfection, my heart attuned to strings and hammers.
I’m at the tipping point of fame.
Curtain raises to thundering applause, smartphones ready. I’m ready for YouTube.
Sitting down, the despicable clown stretches his fingers; knuckles snapped he touch my teeth.
It only takes one swallow and there’s nothing between me and my audience, the spotlight’s just for me.
Burp.
I have made it to fame with the braggart Steinway silenced.
Copyright -John Nixon
Rochelle conducts the show, and publish a new image each week. Join the fun.
—
June 15, 2016
A great piece of misdirection there, Bjorn
Ha.. yes that’s fun.
Dear Björn,
That’s a piano to avoid and good story to revisit. Funny stuff.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Ha – The bad ones always make it to fame
I liked this second version
Thank you ..
Well, I must say you did a terrific job on the re-write and have a terrific story all around, Bjorn. One of the great things about blogs is the rerunning or even repurposing of content.
Five out of five “circle of fifths.”
The reruns make it possible to go with the same narrative and yet do something new… thank you..
I didn’t see the original. but I really liked this! Funny indeed.
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I so rarely write funny so I thought this would be an opportunity.
A funny end but I found it tense all the way through as well. Fabulous.
🙂 Thank you… It’s great to browse through the feedback and do a rewrite…
Interesting how differently people view things, isn’t it?
Yes that’s the great part of writing to the same picture…
Yikes!!!
I won’t be going near any concerts in the future.
I think you would be safe… but I do recommend against playing one of those smaller beasts with inferiority complex.
Nice idea to write from the piano’s POV. Well done!
It works so much better writing in first person than in third…
Hehe, a piano that wants all the fame. Fun and sinister, and a great re-write.
I think all keyboards are there to bite you…
Fantastic Bjorn! I really enjoyed it, kept me on edge and then had me chuckling at the end 🙂
Ha.. yes the piano was quite tense actually.
Such an original POV! You had me grinning at the end there.
Can you see how the piano grins too.
Some subtle allusions to the piano. And that first line was great. An interesting and well crafted story, Bjorn.
I have found that you always had to put in a few allusions before the punch… much more fun that way.
Your usual high quality stuff, Bjorn.
But I am having a bad day, I don’t get the last line.
Is Steinway’s an abbreviation for Steinway has?
You’re right… the s serves no purpose…. thank you for the correction.
Wow! You caught me unawares there – like the piano did the clown.
I think the clown disliked it a lot.
Always wary of doing a POV of something not human…tricky to not rnd up sounding human. Think you might be in trouble with the “taking the picture too literally” crowd…lol.
Ha.. yes there is no subtlety in the connection to the picture here.
I assume the piano’s name is Venus Von Clowntrap.
I think it’s very likely… he he.
Ha, ha. This was a fun piece.
Thank you 🙂
ha ha. I was a little lost at first until I re-read it and saw it was the Piano’s POV. Then it became hilarious. I liked the line “my heart attuned to strings and hammers” It could work for humans as well.
Ha.. deceit is fun isn’t it?
That’s great! Who knew carnivorous pianos were such egomaniacs?
I think you have to be egomaniac to be a true carnivore.
even the pianos love two minute fame. great
Ha.. yes they do
The piano’s the real star in these concerts!
I think so too…
Very original POV and nicely described hunger for fame.
🙂
Very clever. I like the concept of the ivory keys as “dentures.”
I always feared them when I tried to learn the piano
“Silence is pregnant with anticipation.” Funny line. I can picture this story as an animated short. 🙂
Oh. I missed that it was the piano’s pov. I laughed thinking it was some guy who ends up viral by burp.
thanks for reposting this great story. i would have missed it otherwise.
Great story that fits the prompt perfectly. Fantastically imaginary pov
This made me smile. Enjoyed hearing the story from the piano!
Wow! Unexpected and fun story with good pacing and rhythm. But boy, that talent is enough to make me queasy…
Great point of view.
An interesting POV.
I’ll never feel comfortable around a Steinway again. Well told – great ending.
Very interesting to tell this from the piano’s point of view! I like this take on the prompt and understand the piano’s motivation!
Love it. But I reckon it won’t be getting that much exposure after some maestros disappear.
I hadn’t read the original. I finally caught on that it was from the piano’s point of view. The burp was great. Well done, Bjorn. 😀 — Suzanne
A very original and somewhat scary story! I really enjoyed it!