Sevenling: (I see)

I see through fingered
shadows wicked flames
and dames, a sailor-lady (kelp in hair)

a bad to be, (maybe)
if not the bloom and laughter,
and your famous hands (smaller than the rain)

    … you cannot trust a clairvoyant

The Crystal Ball by John William Waterhouse.

The Crystal Ball by John William Waterhouse.

I used my interpretation of selecting words with Fibonacci sequence from The Waste Land for Angie’s prompt at toads. The words I came up with were (famous, clairvoyante, a bad, to be, wicked, sailor, is the, I see).

April 15, 2016

22 responses to “Sevenling: (I see)

  1. AWE-SOME

    I love this line: “and your famous hands (smaller than than the rain)” … so gorgeous. … Also that last line, especially how it relates to the title and the opening, which makes YOU the (e)clair-voyant. 😉

    Ooh, love how “wicked” doubles as evil and candle-wicks burning. Also, liquid can be wicked; so why not fire? That’s when a fiery person touches other people and lets his/her fire seep onto/into them … which can be both good and bad, I suppose. Pleasurable *and* painful.

    Also, the way you broke the line after “fingered” makes this a little bit naughty. 😛

  2. Wonderful imagery, Bjorn. ‘Hands smaller than rain’, for reasons I do not understand, is making the hairs stand up on the back of my neck. This woman is definitely bad. She’s a ‘kelpie’, mesmerising sailors and wrecking ships and a ‘belle dame sans merci’, mesmerising knights and abandoning them in the Val Sans Retour. It’s all in the hands, and I suppose raindrops can be as round as skulls and crystal balls. I’ve had a terrible draining week and your poem is welcome rain. Thank you. I must must must visit you more often. 🙂

  3. This has an ultra modern feel to it, Bjorn, quite sparse but with a concentration of imagery which works on an emotive level too.

    The clairvoyant plays the third to the dames and the sailor-lady very nicely.

  4. This has a classic feel, and yet a modern vibe. A wonderful play with Eliot’s words. I bet that clairvoyant didn’t see this coming.

  5. Love the way that last line falls. Perfect for a sevenling. (Love that you’re still slinging sevenlings!) I think you have a double “than” in that second-to-last line? And you KNOW I love the nod to Cummings I see there. 🙂

  6. A lovely sevenling. Nice allusion to cummins. Such things can be hard to pull off, but this one arrived as a small rush of pleasant surprise, enhancing but not overwhelming your portrait of Madame Sosostris.

  7. This seven long is a great form. I love your ending and the painting. So much to discover in your allusions. I read your point about writing a poem a day. Quite a challenge. Agree though that I find it difficult keeping up with reading all the great blogs out there. Will try with yours as you have such a creative and challenging way with words.

  8. With just a dozen borrowed words, you’ve given us a whole new and exciting poem! I love the “hands smaller than rain.” There’s always something knowing about hands. Thanks for linking up. I hope my next prompt will not have such technical difficulties.

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