Rats

“A femur you say?”

Detective Constable took up his notebook, raised his left eyebrow scrutinizing the old drunkard.

Through smell of pee and booze, Constable could distinguish a sweet scent of something rotting.

“… and how do you know it’s human?”

The old man scratched his unshaven chin, closed his watery eyes but remained silent.

“… and you don’t look like a doctor”

“My name is Joe….”, sighing the old man remained sprawled on the wet concrete, patting his empty trouser-leg.

“I know it’s a femur, ‘cause last month I could walk on it”

He met Detective Constable’s gaze.

“I hate rats”

I don’t know what this story came from except I felt like doing a dialogue. I hope you don’t feel too sick, but life can be tough on the streets.

Friday Fictioneers is a blogging community lead be Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, and this week it’s time to congratulate her for the TV interview. I’m quite busy this week but I will visit as many as I can throughout the weekend and the beginning of next.


March 9. 2016

71 responses to “Rats

  1. Interesting genre this week Bjorn. I like this dialogue format of telling the story which I’m still trying to learn. Well done.

  2. It’s funny how words we read can stick with us. It occurred to me that my drunkard and my notebook got together in your subconscious, along with a yen for dialogue and whatever else you’ve been reading, and there you have it. That’s my theory, anyway.

  3. This is the best! I love that twisted ending. 🙂

    I guess you can’t have a “Star” without a few “rats,” eh?

    There might be a hidden poem in the italics: “femur you look hate.” Fem Ur, you loo Kate. 🙂 Just kidding. I don’t know what you mean, if anything. But it’s still something fun to play with. But I do think you hid “cons-table” inside “Constable.” So maybe the rats represent some thugs who conned him in some way. Or maybe he just owed them something he couldn’t give, so they cut off his leg. Regardless, I very much like your story.

    Oh, and the name Joe reminds me of the movie Meet Joe Black, but I’m not sure it’s related. Although, I can probably connect just about anything. 😛

  4. ‘It seems that the dammed rats did for him constable’ and of course the booze. But check his coat for hidden property, then send his artificial leg for repair. In the mean time give him a bath.
    ‘I liked this tale of dark humour’ and I related to this having worked in hospital that deloused tramps in the 1960…

  5. Pretty gruesome there, Bjorn. Good work. This photo rather demands a dark tale, I think, and you were certainly up for the challenge this week. Kudos.

    MG

  6. Good story, Bjorn. People know the homeless often sleep on the ground but probably don’t think about the rats, mice, etc. crawling on them. Really sad. The poor here who have shelter put food in tins to keep it safe from being eaten by rats, etc. Well done. —- Suzanne

  7. Such a diverse range of stories from this prompt, and yours is one such. It’s kind of funny in a really repulsively sad way. Well done.

  8. Terrific, Bjorn, I love your dark side.
    I will probably like your other side too, if you ever show it.
    And yes, I laughed at this, it was great.

  9. Well, yuck – in a good way. I can’t imagine rats doing that although I’ve read they used to eat babies in the slums during the early part of the 1900’s.

  10. Ewwwwww! A shocking twist. He really should be groaning and screaming in pain, but he’s probably in constant pain from all his other ailments as well.

  11. I’m staying away from trash cans for awhile. Too many people in them who actually mattered. The story mattered WELL! Super, Bjorn!

  12. Rats eating human flesh. No, I’m not feeling sick at all, Bjorn! You really know how to work a scene.Dialogue is great. I hate rats, too.

  13. Creepy but realistic unfortunately. I like dark humour seeing pain and suffering, sometimes sharing the dark side of life in this easy to read story. Well done!!

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