The music of wait

There’s a melody, a voice of myself:
a timbre, a tone a faintness in echo
of ash; a footstep that’s planted in stealth
in the night, a fading finale, a larghetto
when saved for the last: our music, the waltz
you declined with a smile and your arms
wrapped around his neck; when with salt
from his lips you left me alone and disarmed.
I’m left on his road, in haze of my breath
to footsteps in snow and frost on my coat.
My valley is dark, but up on the crest
your hair is the silver; it tells me to cope
My voice is a wind, I’m here by myself
I can wait for a sign, recover to health

La Goulue and Valentin, Waltz by Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec

La Goulue and Valentin, Waltz by Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec

Today Victoria want’s us to write a poem from first person perspective (real or imagined) at dVerse, and pay attention how the tone changes with the perspective. We open the doors at 3PM EST.

February 24, 2016

24 responses to “The music of wait

  1. I love the touch of “larghetto.” It’s all beautiful, but the opening lines.

    How clever to describe relationships as dances. There’s a distance between people when waltzing. Also, the music is light and bouncy. But to get sweaty while dancing, you’re probably doing some Latin inspired moves. 🙂

    “disarmed” … very clever! I also like “my voice is a wind” and “your hair is the silver.” This adds a magical quality to the piece and also speaks of aging and wisdom.

  2. Leave it to you to whelp another perfect analogy to life, love & pathos; You managed to work in sweeping sections, dragging us around in dance–had to rest between readings.

  3. So intense and I like how, in spite of it all, there is strength and will to continue. This poem is like a slowed down, intense tango….like the old word “Apache” dances of the French Apaches…excellent!

  4. I like how you started with your voice as music in the beginning and ended with “my voice is a wind.” The former has more structure, as the wind goes where it will. Very nice piece. Peace, Linda

  5. What a great title, and in spite of this guy getting an apparent brush-off, he still seems hopeful. As someone who enjoys so many concerts is it any wonder that you don’t incorporate music and dance into your writing.

  6. My favourite part….
    “I’m left on his road, in haze of my breath
    to footsteps in snow and frost on my coat.
    My valley is dark, but up on the crest
    your hair is the silver; it tells me to cope”
    A bittersweet moment of rejection evolving to hope.

  7. It sounds like the dancer has not lost hope. I think many have been in that position, feeling rejected. What I would like to say to him is: “Someday your princess will come!”

  8. Oh, I love this one; it’s perfectly lovely and intellectual; each line is a poem and they lead us through the mind, in this case, yours, as thoughts and emotions convene with the mind to resolve the matter so you can go on with life. It takes a lot to learn to cut one’s losses.

  9. A lovely sonnet … subtly sensual in an old-worldly kind of a way – plain spoken with dignity (I’ve always found that to be such a charming quality in a person).

I try to reciprocate all comments. If you want me to visit a particular post, please direct me directly to that post.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s