There’s a melody, a voice of myself:
a timbre, a tone a faintness in echo
of ash; a footstep that’s planted in stealth
in the night, a fading finale, a larghetto
when saved for the last: our music, the waltz
you declined with a smile and your arms
wrapped around his neck; when with salt
from his lips you left me alone and disarmed.
I’m left on his road, in haze of my breath
to footsteps in snow and frost on my coat.
My valley is dark, but up on the crest
your hair is the silver; it tells me to cope
My voice is a wind, I’m here by myself
I can wait for a sign, recover to health
La Goulue and Valentin, Waltz by Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec
Today Victoria want’s us to write a poem from first person perspective (real or imagined) at dVerse, and pay attention how the tone changes with the perspective. We open the doors at 3PM EST.
—
February 24, 2016
Björn Rudbergs writings 
This poem is like a dance, taking me around the dance floor. Dizzy with color now. 🙂
I have read your wonderful sonnet twice already. Lovely and sad
I love the touch of “larghetto.” It’s all beautiful, but the opening lines.
How clever to describe relationships as dances. There’s a distance between people when waltzing. Also, the music is light and bouncy. But to get sweaty while dancing, you’re probably doing some Latin inspired moves. 🙂
“disarmed” … very clever! I also like “my voice is a wind” and “your hair is the silver.” This adds a magical quality to the piece and also speaks of aging and wisdom.
“…but the opening lines are my favorites” I meant to say. 🙂
Leave it to you to whelp another perfect analogy to life, love & pathos; You managed to work in sweeping sections, dragging us around in dance–had to rest between readings.
Oh, there you go again with the music–and the mood is intense, the loss counter-pointed by strength and the will to go on. Wonderful writing.
So intense and I like how, in spite of it all, there is strength and will to continue. This poem is like a slowed down, intense tango….like the old word “Apache” dances of the French Apaches…excellent!
I like how you started with your voice as music in the beginning and ended with “my voice is a wind.” The former has more structure, as the wind goes where it will. Very nice piece. Peace, Linda
What a great title, and in spite of this guy getting an apparent brush-off, he still seems hopeful. As someone who enjoys so many concerts is it any wonder that you don’t incorporate music and dance into your writing.
I felt as though I was dancing along the lines 🙂
Beautifully penned.
Lots of love,
Sanaa
Not sure she is worth what she is declining. That “melody, and voice of myself” is worth something much sweeter.
My favourite part….
“I’m left on his road, in haze of my breath
to footsteps in snow and frost on my coat.
My valley is dark, but up on the crest
your hair is the silver; it tells me to cope”
A bittersweet moment of rejection evolving to hope.
Breathtaking, really, this.
I agree – this sonnet is like a dance and a bittersweet moment. Love it, Bjorn!
Magnifique! A lovely piece of writing.
A sad piece. I feel for your lonely dancer, and hope his waiting is not in vain.
It sounds like the dancer has not lost hope. I think many have been in that position, feeling rejected. What I would like to say to him is: “Someday your princess will come!”
this reads like a waltz
what heartbreak, yet even then, the speaker is showing strength and courage.
Oh, I love this one; it’s perfectly lovely and intellectual; each line is a poem and they lead us through the mind, in this case, yours, as thoughts and emotions convene with the mind to resolve the matter so you can go on with life. It takes a lot to learn to cut one’s losses.
A lovely sonnet … subtly sensual in an old-worldly kind of a way – plain spoken with dignity (I’ve always found that to be such a charming quality in a person).
I love both dancing in real life and within a poem. I like how subtle this dance is.
Love the title — and then continuing into the dance of life. Enjoy all the musical notes here…..very well done!
Amazing write, Bjorn!